His Way or the Highway

When my parents used to tell me about the years they spent living in Chicago, their anecdotes would include “Oompas!” in Greek Town, lakefront bike rides, Marshall Fields shopping sprees, deep dish pizzas, original Diane Von Furstenberg wrap dresses and all the rest of the sights, sounds, and corrupt politics of the Windy City. One thing they left out though - the traffic - air, train, car, bike, and pedestrian TRAFFIC. Growing up in Pittsburgh, going anywhere took between five and ten minutes. In Chicagoland it takes at least thirty minutes to go everywhere!

Currently, I am a suburbanite, and in order to get to the Mecca of fun and excitement of the Chicago my parents described, you have to get gear up for a fierce battle against the traffic. You have to diagnose which route and method of transportation will get you there in the fastest, safest manner, so you can beat the others competing for the last table on the patio at the “outdoor seating is on a first come, first serve basis at this trendy Lincoln Park establishment" restaurant du jour.

Generally, my preferred way is the highway. 88 to 290 to 90/94 to East Ohio Street.
Bam.
There.
Technically though ... it’s not so much of a Bam. There ... But, it is a thoughtless process.
It’s not the shortest distance, and most likely each segment has roadblocks, strangles, bottlenecks, construction zones and deadly merges that make using these roads a virtual nightmare. However, it’s a predictable nightmare. I get on the highway and inch along the 35 miles from Naperville to Chicago, knowing I will eventually get there. And I get in the driver's seat equipped with a mindset that enables this slow pace. I tend to learn something thanks to NPR and the generous funding of donors like you; I get a laugh or two out of the nose pickers and butt scratchers around me; and I get to know the ropes – the true lessons of being a Chicago commuter.

The boyfriend on the other hand, has another way - the less traveled and riskier way. This involves a never ending stream of stopping and going; slamming on the breaks and lurching forward; driving through less familiar and somewhat dangerous territories; pulling out the iPhone every so often to predict the next course of action in the event we run into congestion; and STRESS. Lots of STRESS, well at least for me, the passenger. For the most part, the boyfriend does a remarkable job navigating and ultimately beating the time of my tried and true approach. However, this way of continually finding shortcuts comes with the price tag of a pretty big headache in my opinion.

You can draw a parallel to the highway versus the other way debate in the way that people approach the road and road blocks in their lives. Your career path and the course you steer throughout your relationships can be just as congested and difficult to navigate. In a way, there's no one way to beat all the traffic, as everyone has to deal with a set back or two along the way. However, there are some that will inevitably find a short cut, an alternate more creative method of transportation, or someone else to carpool with leading them to life's version of an HOV lane and somehow ahead of everyone else.

This approach and those that seek shortcuts tend to annoy me; and they always make me think of Eve Harrington in the movie All About Eve. Eve is Margo Channing's fawning fan who subtly, demurely, and sneakily replicates and imitates her every move and mannerism, catapulting her into stardom at an unprecedented pace. Margo on the other hand, has paid her Hollywood dues. She has worked her butt of to get there and doesn’t want to see her unassuming innocent protégé pass her up in line for an Oscar. About midway through the movie though Margo recognizes Eve's games and ends up full of road rage. The cat fights start as she proclaims with her iconic leer, quivery voice and cinematic glory, “Fasten your seat belts, it’s going to be a bumpy night!”



And a bumpy ride it is ... Several sly, sultry battles later, Eve ends up winning her Oscar, Margo gets to unload Eve and continue her lustrous career, and the next generation starlet looking for a shortcut to the top latches on to Eve. It's a movie filled with the same headaches and drama of those alternate routes the boyfriend finds. But in the end, if you think about it, they all get to the level of success they fought for. And it came with the price of constant paranoia of the people that are going to pass them up - those that tailgate, cut them off, and sneak by on their blind side. Their journey to the top wasn't as pleasant as it could have been had they respected the rules of the road and those on it.

In life we are all going to come to bottlenecks along the way, and it's up to us to either wait patiently, like everyone else on the highway, or to get creative and take a little risk to outmaneuver the others. To me the uncharted path is a lot more stressful, but that's probably because I always get lost when I'm on it. However, whether you choose the prescribed and steady or seek the accelerated and risky, you should respect everyone else on the road and thank those that helped pave the way. That is:

• Show your gratitude to those that let you merge.
• Don't hold grudges against those that cut you off.
• Let other road warriors in.
• Don’t flick anyone off.
• Don’t tailgate. 
• And don’t make the traffic patterns more difficult for others.

Like I said, we’ll all get to a good place. Some of us may get the outdoor table and some of us may be stuck at the bar next to the creepy old guy, but we will all have the chance to eat, drink and be merry when the commute is over. And you never know - it may rain on the outdoor tables and Mr. Right may sit down next to you, the slow commuter, at the bar.

Lo