The Fellowship of the Bling

Two weeks ago I received the ring - a mesmerizing, radiant, opulent jewel that rests delicately on my left hand and makes high fives, hand shakes, prayers, typing, and driving to work a much more beautiful experience. As soon as The Boyfriend put it around my finger, I knew something had changed. I sensed the innate power of the ring and the need to make changes to my navigation patterns through the world. Immediately, I turned to The Boyfriend and said, "I can't ever wash dirty dishes again."

Besides the incredulous stare, belly laugh, and "I don't think so!" that I got in return, I was coaxed to believe that there had to be secrets of living with a ring. So since the inception of my bling, I've been gathering best practices from my fellow bejeweled girlfriends who have become accustomed to life attached to a Precious.

This weekend seemed to be a summit of the Fellowship of the Bling. I attended several bridal events with A LOT of married or engaged women for my best friend Kristen in Sherwood Forest, Maryland. Sherwood is a community outside of Annapolis, where streets are named for my favorite Robin Hood characters and every morning you wake up with the difficult choice of which leisure sport to play. Great place! Although, the weekend was a female-centered celebration of Kristen and Charlie, there was an inevitable draw to learn more about my engagement news and welcome me into the secret society of being locked down.

In the real world and even in Sherwood Forest, there are no dwarves, elves, wizards of gray, future kings or hobbits to protect and teach you bling survival tactics. Instead there are girlfriends who teach you necessary lessons on how to persevere on your journey to the end of the aisle in order to get the bling kinged. Here's what I learned this weekend from Maid Marion and her ladies.

Maid Marion: "Let others try it on."
When I first heard the news that Maid Marion was engaged I couldn't wait to see her ring. And what a ring it was! With little tact, I asked, "can I try it on?!" She was more than willing to let my tacky self experience the beauty and weight of her shiny object on my left hand, never thinking that I would get one myself. This weekend two people asked if they could try on my ring. And like I learned earlier this year, you pry it off your hand for a minute or two to let someone else have the experience.

Lady 1:  "You have to clean it - three days before the wedding and about every six months after that."
Apparently, diamond picks up any and all dirt and in order to make the ring really pop as you walk down the aisle, it needs to be cleaned. I honestly can't imagine it popping any more than it already does, but I'll add it to my list of to-dos.  

Lady 2: "Learn to do everything with it."
This weekend "doing everything" included jumping off a boat, into a body of salt water, with my hands clenched, so I could take a potty break while at sea. I guess I no longer have an excuse for not being able to do dishes. 

Lady 3: "Turn it around when you are in crowded public places like a Subway and get it insured."
Seriously, if the Sherif of Nottingham had raided the bachelorette cabin this weekend, he would have had enough to buy out the crown of King Richard. So in a world, where Robin Hood and Little John aren't right around the corner, you have to make sure you're insured. 

Lady 4: "Don't let it's beauty distract you."
A lot of the Fellowship seemed to have a little of the "my Precious" syndrome. Like I said, repetitive tasks like driving to work and folding my hands in prayer become a lot more fun with bling. However, one of my friends warned me that too much focus on the bling while driving and praying, can lead to less than positive results.   

Lady 5: "Put it on a pedestal"
One of the most super ladies who truly knows the etiquette of wearing a ring, got me a special present for my engagement, which sits on my night stand. It has become the perfect resting place for my ring as I go to bed. Thank you SGS!

Me:
After the weekend's festivities and as I made my way back to the Windy City, I felt like I came across my own addition to the fellowship's secrets. Unlike bachelorette parties past, where I didn't want the party to end, I was so excited to be home on Sunday afternoon, sitting next to the gifter of the ring as we cheered the Bears and Steelers onto victory. Things do change with a ring around your finger and there is a reason why your left hand becomes very distracting. It's so on bachelorette weekends you spend all your energy looking at your bling and thinking about what it represents, than on the guys trying to hit on you and your girlfriends.

Lo.