A Better Story

Albert Einstein said, 'I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a greater generation of idiots.'

On Friday afternoon, on a plane sitting on a stretch of tarmac where far too many planes have waited before, I witnessed absolute validation to Einstein's theory. As the stewardess asked everyone to turn off and stow their phones a conversation, typically reserved for the network, became audible when two chronic texters found seats next to each other.

My theory was that this generation of iAddicts couldn't communicate without their 'smart' devices. Turns out, they can. And let me tell you, what passed as conversation was bad. Real bad. For a little over two hours, Peter and I, and another vocally annoyed woman expressed outrage as the loud, inane conversation in row 24 roared on. It went something like this.

OMG.
LOL.
Love it.
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Shut up.
Snapchat.
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.
No way.
LMAO.
BTW U R my new BFF.

LOL.
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.
SHUT UP!
Snapcat.
JK.
WTF.
TMI.
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Oh, we can use our phones now!
XOXO.
TTYL.
Snapchat me!

Einstein, if we haven't actually gotten dumber, our capacity to communicate and more specifically tell a good story has certainly diminished.

When I stepped off the plane and into a taxi cab bound for Manhattan on Friday evening, I vowed to come home to Mary with a good story to tell. So here it is; as told by me to Mary on Sunday night.

On Friday evening, Daddy and I landed on a Big Apple. Bigger than the green one you sunk your little teeth into the other day. It was a loud, crazy place. We were like little fish in a really massive pond. But the mermaids helped us get acquainted. 

After we settled in, Daddy and I went out on a long overdue date to a cozy Tavern in Gramercy Park. I wore a ruffly red dress. Daddy buttoned up a blue shirt. I clicked the heels of my gold shoes together and just like that, the bartender found a place for us to sit and cocktails that fit.   

The next day, Daddy and I ran around the biggest park, with the biggest pool, loudest playgrounds, and most panting dogs ever. We thought of you the whole time. And I actually caught myself barking, 'woof, woof' here and there.   

Later that day, after we went on too many underground train rides, smelled too many odd smelling odors and Mommy almost lost her s***, we found ourselves in Italy. And then China. And then Harlem as we shook down with some of the neighborhood's most energetic dancers. 

Around bedtime, while Aunt Erin was reading a fairy tale to you, Daddy and I saw one come off the pages and into a Dim Sum Banquet Hall in New York City. Your second cousin once removed said, 'I do' in his own special Cousin Bill way. A dumpling and Peking Duck, break dancing, hula dancing, and kick line kicking, pants splitting, photo bombing, and all around good time way. 

 

 

And Mommy and Daddy helped him and his beautiful bride, Tiere, celebrate. 

On the way back to our hotel that night, we took a detour to Mumbai in a cab that zigged, zagged, zoomed and swerved around town. This time, Mommy almost lost her dinner.

The very next morning, we climbed over the Brooklyn Bridge before all the ice cream vendors arrived, and into a different borough of the Big Apple. Just hours later, we were on the next flight home to see you again. 

As you and Aunt Erin ended your adventures together, Daddy and I came through the door with two missing days of hugs and kisses to give you.

Like so many of life's experiences, it was the kind of memorable weekend that doesn't translate to text. And never should.

Lo.

*Wedding photos generously donated by Kristen Greenwood Reily (Thanks!)