Cat Lover

Toward the end of our vacation, we would always lose my Mom as we explored one of the nation's 'Old Towns.'

'Where's your mother?' my Dad would ask. 

'I think she went into that store,' I replied and pointed ominously, as if the shopping Gods lured her in, never to be seen again. It was particularly dangerous if the retail detour reached across multiple souvenir genres. That is not just t-shirts, but locally made jellies, pinch pots, hand woven baskets, AND artisan jewelry. The store of no return.

Each of us would take turns trying to coax her out of the shop, into the car, onto lunch.
'Mom. Come on! No one wants this stuff.'
'Mom, I'm starving!'
'Mom, Dad's starving!'
'Mom, get this, right here, and let's get OUT OF HERE!'

Two or three hours later (in ten year old time), she would emerge victorious. She would pompously get back in the car,  celebratory smile starkly contrasting with our grumpy, hungry pouts.

'Well ...' she would start, 'I got a cat pin for Barb. And I got cat earrings for Jeannette! And I got a cat bracelet for Chris. All made by local artists. They will love them. You know how they all love their cats so much. I'm just so pleased.'

Barb, Jeannette, and Chris worked with my Mom. With these new dangling additions to their collection, they could now fill a whole litter box with the mountain of feline paraphernalia that my Mom had purchased for them over the years. My Mom's joy, and her associates pending happiness, was countered by our rolling eyes and belittlement. Nothing could rain on my Mom's parade though.    

***

Recently, I have been noticing another disparity between moms and non-moms. That is in their storytelling material. A mom goes straight for her kids: the source of her daily comedy, frustration, tears, joy, and pride. A non-Mom goes for anything but a kid, and doesn't find the story the Mom just told nearly as funny. I know, because I've been there.

In my twenties, as a single woman without a baby, dog, cat or fish to call my own, I used to nod my head in acknowledgement of the story co-worker / mom A was telling, trying to feign interest as co-worker / mom B burst out in laughter. (Oh, that was a punch line. Totally missed it.) As co-worker / mom B countered the first story with her personal, inevitably longer iteration of it, I covertly mapped my escape route. The only thing worse, was when co-worker / mom / cat lover C would join the conversation and bring in pet narratives to round out the ennui.

Present day, as a parent, I know why so many Mom stories revolve around kids. I know Moms tear up when they hear the struggle of another mom. I even know how a Mom can relate to a parent whose only baby is a cat. And now on the other side of the conversation, I've watched the 20-something girl look for her escape route or segue as I pull up photos on my iPhone to illustrate just how cute my kids are.

I also now see why my Mom so enthusiastically bedazzled people in cat crap over the years. As the oldest of eight, and a mother of three, my Mom cultivated a particularly empathetic maternal soul. She was never an animal lover; she took a back seat to nature; and she denied every plea for a family dog. But she listened to every cat story and looked at every cat screen saver that her secretaries and associates shared with her. She didn't just feign interest, she related. She saw a mom in each cat lady, and sought those little tokens that told them what great moms they were.

There are so many things about my Mom that continue to impress me, inspire me, and push me to be a better woman. Her empathy and desire to connect with everyone she meets are just examples.

It's terribly belated, but happy Mother's Day to my ever loving Mom, whose role as care and present giver has extended to so many people over the years.

And Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful Moms I celebrated with on Sunday.

Lo.