Happily Ever After

During the first year and a half of raising Mary, I vowed to steer clear of princesses. There were little girls in our neighborhood running around in princess dresses on a day to day basis, and I said, no way was that happening in this house. Instead I bought her Legos, trains, blocks, and introduced her to the great outdoors; I wanted to lay the foundation for math, engineering, science, and adventure. I didn't want to believe what everyone told me; that it was only a matter of time before the lure of Disney's fair maidens got to her.

Naturally, it was of my own doing. Or undoing. The first movie I let her watch was Cinderella. I was on maternity leave, I needed a break, and it was one of my favorites growing up. Mary fell in love with everything about it: the mice and the dress they make Cinderella, the Fairy Godmother's appearance, Cinderella's ball gown, the prince, the glass slipper, and the couple's happily ever after. She asked for Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo to be added to her nightly lullaby repertoire, Her second birthday carried a Cinderella theme. When we went to Disney World last year she almost cried when she met her princess heroine, giving her the biggest hug she could muster. She was a goner.

After Cinderella came a host of others: Little Mermaid, Tangled, Frozen, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Alladin and just recently Beauty and the Beast. She fell deeper under Disney's spell. But after all the vetoes, I found myself not minding. (After all, I'm still entranced by the magic of these movies.) There was something else too - a different angle to these fairy tales that I suddenly saw as an adult.

It was Cinderella and her opening song that made me have a change of heart. I started to really listen to the lyrics, and they revealed something that I never knew was in the film.

At the beginning, after the clock on the castle sounds her daily alarm, she sings from her tower:
A dream is a wish your heart makes, when you're fast asleep.
In dreams you will lose your heartache, whatever you wish for you keep.
Have faith in your dreams and someday, a rainbow will come shining through.
No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing,
The dream that you wish, will come true.

Brilliant. Suddenly, the idea of a Cinderella story took on a new meaning. It's not so much about a girl going from rags to riches, being saved by a prince. It's all about faith. It's about a girl who never gives up, who keeps joy and love in her heart despite all the cruelty that descends upon her. It's about grace and a happy ending despite what the world might tell us is too hard to come by.

Wait. That is something I want Mary to emulate. As a future engineer of course. After watching the movie and some its predecessors for the seemingly hundredth time, I tried to explain this point of view. She still liked when the mice were making Cinderella's dress the best. Point taken, that's a cute part.

But just about a week ago, I didn't need to look to the movies anymore to show her how faith and hope can lead to a happily ever after.

My sister has always believed in hers. She stayed full of love, joy and grace throughout the period of time when her heart was aching. She never needed a make-over, she had lots of great dresses to choose from, she just needed to keep the faith. Which is no easy task when life looks a little scary.

She put herself out there, and on a beautiful summer day on the Allegheny River, she met her prince, an engineer at that. It was love at first paddle. A thousand adventures and corresponding selfies later, they got engaged, and are now planning their happily ever after.

When Erin told us her news, Mary shared a look of astonishment and excitement. A ball gown, a prince, a kiss, maybe even a couple glass slippers went swirling through her mind. Pure magic. Okay, maybe she didn't get all the other stuff, but she knows how wonderful Aunt Erin is and how she deserves the happiness that came her way because she always believed in it.

So this is my redefinition of Cinderella's story. And it's one I think every girl should know.

Happy Engagement Erin and Joe!

Lo.