Two Letters

Margaret -

You came three days before your due date. You ate, you slept, you filled diaper pail after diaper pail. You gained a pound, then a couple more, then moved from one size to the next. You ate some more, you slept a little longer, you pooped all over Daddy and spit up all over Mommy. You smiled. You cooed. You melted my heart every day.

Mary went back to school. Bobby learned how to use the potty. You took a bottle and packed on the rolls.

The pool closed and we put away the Peggy O. I picked Mary up from school and played in 'the yard' with her friends. I went running with Bobby and we raced from one playground to the next. I grocery shopped and made dinner. I walked you around the neighborhood and snuggled you in the sun room.

I held you on the stoop as Mary and Bobby rode their bikes up and down the street. I held you close as I read book after book. I held you and rocked you in the Adirondack chairs in the backyard. I held you and nursed you in the middle of the night. And each time I put you down, I got a little sad that I was letting you go. 

Emmie was born. Aunt Erin got married. Notre Dame beat USC. We pressed cider, carved pumpkins, dressed up like super heroes, trick or treated and then warmed up by the fire. 

The leaves fell, the temperatures dropped, and the summer clothes were replaced with sweaters and coats.  

I've completed my to do list over the past three months, and that can only mean one thing; it's time to go back to work. 

Today, I'll attempt to look like a professional, walk out the door, and pretend that I'm not thinking about you every second of the day.

While I believe I'm ready to return to the rigor of corporate America, it doesn't mean that I'm ready to leave you. My lap will feel empty, my pump will be cold, my heartbeat will miss yours echoing off of it. I will cherish and long for the three short months I got to spend at home with you, Mary and Bobby. They went far too fast.

Know that you'll be in my thoughts all day. Know that I'll be home as soon as possible, chilled milk in tow. And know that when I return, my arms will belong to you.

Love,
Mommy

***

Corporate America -

I return to work today thirty five pounds lighter, thousands of dollars poorer, hours less rested, a little bit wiser, and ready to go.

I've now taken three maternity leaves from my company, each seven weeks paid. I've extended them non-paid for about seven more, backed by FMLA and my own cash. And after three leaves, I can safely say seven weeks isn't enough.

With that, I would like to applaud my company who just 'modernized their benefits' for future moms. They will now offer 12 weeks paid starting in January 2018. (I'm just lamenting that I didn't get to take advantage of it.) 

So in my opinion, why twelve (or more for that matter) instead of six?  

It doesn't take six weeks to lose baby weight. So unless a company is funding an entirely new wardrobe, six week postpartum moms are likely to show up to work in ill fitting and uncomfortable clothes, which doesn't set them up for success.  

At six weeks, a mom is likely still feeding her baby every two hours, which means back in the office, pump breaks happen every other hour ... less she leaks in the middle of a meeting, which certainly does not set a woman up for success. 

At six weeks, the insurance issues and medical bills are still a mess (thanks to the high performing benefits team and their new health management company), so many back to work hours will be dedicated to long calls with the service center, which doesn't set anyone up for success. 

At six weeks, the baby is probably only sleeping three, maybe four hour stretches at night, so the mother will look and act like a zombie all day. Which, you guessed it, doesn't set a mom up for success. 

At six weeks, you are still trying to figure out infant care let alone hire someone you don't even know to take care of your baby. Someone who could have less of a clue than you. So you spend all day worrying, which inevitably doesn't set a mother up for success. 

But here's the thing, working moms can be some of the best employees in companies; they know how to multitask, work quickly and efficiently, delegate, think creatively, persuade and influence, and above all do their jobs with passion and compassion. But in order to get the most out of them, they need to be set up for success.

An extended maternity leave can help do that. And more companies should start offering them. 

Now once we're back in the door, there are other things that can help. But that's an entirely different letter which will be centered around a mom's commute to work (and I'll save that for later.)

To my company - thank you for this time, three times over. And thank you for listening and getting a little smarter with your benefits.

Lo.