Six and Some

Last Saturday, our friends invited us to their St. Patrick's Day block party. Along with the three hundred or so people in attendance, there were Irish Dancers, a fire truck, a DJ, an array of options for outdoor play, and lots of beer. It was a lot of fun.

While the kids seemed to have had a good time, the next morning Bobby said something unexpected to me.

I asked him, 'Did you have fun at the party yesterday?'

His response, 'No.'

I asked him to elaborate, 'What? Why?'

'It was too big. And I felt too little.'

It made too much sense. Eerily so. And I wondered how often my kids felt like that. Too little in a too big world. Poor guy.

The frame he provided also made Mary's perpetual birthday countdown make a little more sense.

Since Christmas, Mary has been anxiously awaiting her birthday. The anticipation likely started before that, but it was after Christmas when it became more pronounced. What started as months, became days as we entered March. And everyone from her friends, the cashiers at the grocery store, Debbie the donut lady, the mailman, sales ladies in town, attendants at the gym, waitresses at restaurants, and of course her family knew where she was in the count. Days, hours, minutes, and finally she would be six. She could hardly sleep leading up to it.

The big day came, and the girl was grinning ear to ear from morning till night. As she walked down the stairs to get a hug from me. As I sent her off to school. As Peter and I visited her classroom and her classmates sang Happy Birthday to her in three languages (English, Polish and Spanish!) She was beaming as she came home from school and Eva gave her a special collection of beauty products. And when we took her out to her favorite dinner, she loved having all of Mom and Dad's attention. It was a day, all day, that she felt really big and really important, and I could see how special that was for her.

Sure, it was about the cake and candles and presents, but more than that, I think kids cling to their birthdays because on that day, the world kind of bends down to their level. It sees eye to eye with them. It proclaims them ruler for the day. And it's what they need to help make sense of the too big world they inhabit.


Mary, you are six. And while I know that may seem little at times, in so many ways you are bigger than big.

In your smarts. You are reading, writing beautifully, and can do mathematics like a second or third grader.

In your sass. I'm actually a little nervous for how that attitude might evolve some day.

In your sophistication. Yes, she was the one who chose Nabuki for her birthday dinner.

In your sense of humor. Your laugh as you crinkle up your nose warms so many hearts.

In your sisterly ways. Despite the persistent fights with Bobby, you care so much about your little brother and little sister. And they both look up to you.

In your style. Over the past three or four months, it has evolved from party dresses to casual cool and you now have a way of putting together an outfit that I might call daring, but that you pull off all too well.

In your sweetness. You are kind, caring, and loving toward all. Always stay so sweet.

Little, no big, six year old, I love you.


Mommy / Lo