Around 7:30 PM, on a water taxi traveling from Coronado Island to San Diego, nine (well-dressed) girls gathered around the Veuve Clicquot to make a toast.
"To Casados!," I said.
"To Casados!," everyone echoed.
As Captain Nick navigated the calm San Diego Bay, onward to dinner at Seersucker, we each agreed to give Kassen a bit of marital advice. With as many as three years and as little as six months of marriage to draw on, we each mustered up a tip or two. Of the suggestions to 'never go to bed angry,' 'always find fun in the mundane,' 'be open to the unplanned' and 'communicate,' the maid of honor held my favorite - a lesson in both Spanish and matrimony.
She said, (and I'm going to butcher her wise words, so apologies)
"In Spanish, the word marriage is 'casados,' literally 'house of two.' Often times we want to bring everyone into our marriage. That is, when there's a problem we tend to poll the audience for perspective on a solution. But really, your marriage is about two people; no one will fully understand all that goes into it. As much as you may want to invite others in, realize that you are the permanent residents."
I loved that. I toasted to it. And I pocketed it along with the rest of the wonderful memories from Kassen's bachelorette weekend in Coronado.
But I do have an addendum to it.
I believe before you can reach casados, you need casaonce - a house of eleven, or twelve or fifteen. After a casatres in Baden Hall, a casadiez in 702, and a couple other casas filled with roommates in D.C. and South Bend, Kassen needed one more full house to make sure she was 100% ready to live in a house built for two.
So, thanks to the generous hospitality of Kassen's Aunt Beth and Uncle Bill, we met in Coronado for one last all-girls sleepover. The most well-organized and executed nautically-themed bachelorette party ever, where no buoys were allowed, except for the friendly man who needed to put out a fire.
We needed one last all-girls yoga session.
And some all-girls goofing around.
We needed some all girls sun soaking.
And all-girls scavenger hunting.
We needed several all-girls shots.
And many all-girls sweets.
We needed to do a little last minute flirting.
And wedding bell ringing.
And most importantly, we needed to surround Kassen in the kind of love, friendship and laughter that she has given all of us over the years.
Being the speech enthusiast that I am, I ended up giving Kassen three or four pieces of advice on that boat ride. With almost six successful months of marriage under my belt, I guess I thought I was hot stuff. I concluded with my understanding of soul mates though. I never used to believe in them, but each day, I'm finding more and more that I found mine.
A toast tonight to knowing that in marriage, every day your mate will get closer to your soul.
Lo.
