Smoke and Fireworks

I feel like I just discovered the joyousness of the Fourth of July. When you are in the working world and have a limited number of vacation days (that would be ten for me) you uncover the preciousness of a long holiday weekend. And when you are living in a city where every second of the summer is a coveted moment in time, a cloudless skies and 85 degrees holiday weekend is sheer bliss. The theme for the weekend: Play outside with friends and family. And in my opinion it was a 4th for the Lo history books.

Part 1: Smoking 

About a week ago, I got an excited notice about a recent investment - one that will pay back in exponential dividends. I was thinking ... hmmm ... a new car? But in fact it was a smoker - A giant barrel-shaped, black Weber smoker. This purchase nearly completes the boyfriend's grilling collection, and is a welcome addition to the neighborhood. 

The smoker in all its glory!

Last weekend was the inaugural smoking. We prepared an impromptu wing and rib fest for friends who were equally enthused about smoking things. 

Ribs

Chicken wings

More WINGS!

This weekend though, the boyfriend really put the smoker to work. To accommodate a Saturday night feast of epic proportions starring four fully grown men, four women with equal appetites, two dogs and a 15-month old, I was tasked with picking up 5 pounds of round steak and 8 pounds of pork butt from the butcher. The steak would be used for jerky - the pork would play the leading role in Carnitas. 

The butcher counter at Casey's, Naperville

Friday night we had to concoct a marinade for the steak and a rub for the pork. (The secrets in the sauce, so I can't share that, but there was an Asian flare to the marinade and a Tex-Mex heat to the rub) Saturday around noon, the boyfriend starting to smoke pork. Never, EVER, in my entire life would I have dreamed I would be cautiously watching over smoking pieces of livestock; spraying them methodically with apple cider vinegar; threading long pieces of steak on wires; hanging said steak over the rails of a grill; and perfuming every ounce of my body with smoking wood chips during my Fourth of July weekend. 

Spritzing the pork butt

But after smoking myself in one really hot prairie during an 11.2 mile training run that morning, there was nothing better than relaxing in a shaded Adirondack chair while sipping a gin and tonic and taking in the sweet smells of the smoker. Seriously, sheer bliss, which got even better when the jerky was ready.

Seven and half hours later, the pork was done and ready to make its debut at Claire and Trent's House. We drove over and added it to the festive spread. Outside on the patio everyone was able to customize their pork consumption with a medley of summery salsas, salads, and side dishes. The smoker and his swine got rave reviews and hungry appetites were satisfied. The icing on the cake (or cherry on top) - a homemade lattice cherry pie made from the cherries that Sarah and her 15-month-old, Brett had picked from the orchard earlier in the week. I believe it takes a Pittsburgh girl to perfect a pie in that way (and to help fend off disgruntled Browns fans during and after dinner.) 

To add to Cristine's collection, I have included the 'you don't need a smoker to make an amazing pork roast' recipe. I tend to use and play off of this at least once a month for me and the ultimate swine lover.  

Step 1: Rub the Butt 

Some call it pork shoulder, but my grandma always called it the rump - So, whether you ask for shoulder or butt, get about 2 - 2.5 pounds for a party of two. Most of that poundage will render off, so you might want to go with the heftier load. Around noon of the day you are working from home - cut about 10 little slits in the pork and insert 10 halved garlic cloves. Then rub it down with salt and pepper.

Step 2: Brown the Butt
At 12:30 PM, preheat the oven to 325 degrees.  Get out a dutch oven and melt a tablespoon of butter in it. Then brown the butt on all sides. Remove the butt and put it on a plate next to the side. Thinly slice a sweet onion and saute it in the same pot, making sure to pick up all the browned bits of meat. After about 7 minutes, add 2 cups of apple cider, 1 cup of pilsner and 1/2 cup of beef stock to the pot. Warm up the juices, drink the rest of the beer, and place the pork back into the dutch oven.


Step 3: Roast the Butt 

Throw it everything in the oven and go back to your desk to continue editing the work of minions. 4.5 hours later, once the eNewsletter is in the place that it should be, pour yourself a glass of Riesling, welcome your husband home, and remove the pork from the oven.

Step 4: Eat the Butt

Let the pork rest for 20-25 minutes, and while it is, boil red potatoes, steam broccoli, and set the table. When the potatoes are easily pierced, give them a rough mash with butter, salt, and milk; carve into that pork, which should fall apart honestly; and enjoy the simple comforts of slow roasting. I'm telling you it's the best hunk of butt you will ever eat. 


Part 2: Fireworks!
I can't remember any truly stand-out Fourth of July fireworks displays in the past. I watched many shows on the banks of "C-O-Double-N-E-A-U-T spells Conneaut, Conneaut" Park while I was a camper at Sheldon Calvary Camp. 


These special camp nights were always laced with potential. Every year I envisioned that as dusk turned to dark, my Calvary crush would suddenly notice the awkward girl gawking on the blanket strategically placed behind his group of friends, pin point me to come over and join them, and then there - surrounded by 200 campers and Conneaut's magical fireworks - I would get my first kiss. Sadly, the dream never became a reality. And each year I had to watch my crush cuddle up next to the taller, skinnier girl with amazing blond hair, cool camper-chic clothing from the Gap, and the most trendy Tevas on the market. 


More recently, I watched Fireworks from Longue Vue Country Club in Pittsburgh and among the other rib-eating civilians and tourists of Naperville. Good, not great. 

Me with one of the most decorated Ribbers at Ribfest 2008.

This year though was one to remember. I got dressed in my 4th of July finest: stars and stripes tank top that I bought from Old Navy Kids for $2.99; black BCBG shorts that I paid way too much for; limited edition red Sperry Topsiders (an integral part of the 'Peggy O' uniform); blue jewelry; red nails; and a cowboy hat (but that only lasted a minute or so, because after further consideration I deemed it over the top.) Around noon the boyfriend and I made a painless commute into the city of Chicago so we could board the 'Peggy O' - his family's beautiful boat docked at Belmont Harbor. 

We were met there by friends and family, and together we set out for a day of cruising and swimming in Lake Michigan. Best and only way to describe it - REALLY FUN!

After playing in the Play Pen we cruised back to Belmont Harbor to grill and feast. Several brats, burgers and beers later, we walked over to watch the fireworks along the lakeshore. We had a view of the Navy Pier Fireworks to our right; the Montrose Harbor Fireworks to our left; and the likely illegal fireworks a couple meters away. It was spectacular and what made it even more so ... the fact that my crush was there to give me my third 4th of July kiss. (He gave me the first and second ones too.) 


Part 3: Monday Funday


The last amazing thing about this holiday weekend - I don't have to work today. Instead I get to write this entry! The rest of the day is unplanned for now - but an unplanned beautiful summer day with the boyfriend can only mean excitement is in store. I've written about it before, but sometimes no plans are the best plans. And when it comes to holidays - sometimes going against tradition or starting new ones is the best way to celebrate!   


Lo


Check out more photos on Flickr

His Way or the Highway

When my parents used to tell me about the years they spent living in Chicago, their anecdotes would include “Oompas!” in Greek Town, lakefront bike rides, Marshall Fields shopping sprees, deep dish pizzas, original Diane Von Furstenberg wrap dresses and all the rest of the sights, sounds, and corrupt politics of the Windy City. One thing they left out though - the traffic - air, train, car, bike, and pedestrian TRAFFIC. Growing up in Pittsburgh, going anywhere took between five and ten minutes. In Chicagoland it takes at least thirty minutes to go everywhere!

Currently, I am a suburbanite, and in order to get to the Mecca of fun and excitement of the Chicago my parents described, you have to get gear up for a fierce battle against the traffic. You have to diagnose which route and method of transportation will get you there in the fastest, safest manner, so you can beat the others competing for the last table on the patio at the “outdoor seating is on a first come, first serve basis at this trendy Lincoln Park establishment" restaurant du jour.

Generally, my preferred way is the highway. 88 to 290 to 90/94 to East Ohio Street.
Bam.
There.
Technically though ... it’s not so much of a Bam. There ... But, it is a thoughtless process.
It’s not the shortest distance, and most likely each segment has roadblocks, strangles, bottlenecks, construction zones and deadly merges that make using these roads a virtual nightmare. However, it’s a predictable nightmare. I get on the highway and inch along the 35 miles from Naperville to Chicago, knowing I will eventually get there. And I get in the driver's seat equipped with a mindset that enables this slow pace. I tend to learn something thanks to NPR and the generous funding of donors like you; I get a laugh or two out of the nose pickers and butt scratchers around me; and I get to know the ropes – the true lessons of being a Chicago commuter.

The boyfriend on the other hand, has another way - the less traveled and riskier way. This involves a never ending stream of stopping and going; slamming on the breaks and lurching forward; driving through less familiar and somewhat dangerous territories; pulling out the iPhone every so often to predict the next course of action in the event we run into congestion; and STRESS. Lots of STRESS, well at least for me, the passenger. For the most part, the boyfriend does a remarkable job navigating and ultimately beating the time of my tried and true approach. However, this way of continually finding shortcuts comes with the price tag of a pretty big headache in my opinion.

You can draw a parallel to the highway versus the other way debate in the way that people approach the road and road blocks in their lives. Your career path and the course you steer throughout your relationships can be just as congested and difficult to navigate. In a way, there's no one way to beat all the traffic, as everyone has to deal with a set back or two along the way. However, there are some that will inevitably find a short cut, an alternate more creative method of transportation, or someone else to carpool with leading them to life's version of an HOV lane and somehow ahead of everyone else.

This approach and those that seek shortcuts tend to annoy me; and they always make me think of Eve Harrington in the movie All About Eve. Eve is Margo Channing's fawning fan who subtly, demurely, and sneakily replicates and imitates her every move and mannerism, catapulting her into stardom at an unprecedented pace. Margo on the other hand, has paid her Hollywood dues. She has worked her butt of to get there and doesn’t want to see her unassuming innocent protégé pass her up in line for an Oscar. About midway through the movie though Margo recognizes Eve's games and ends up full of road rage. The cat fights start as she proclaims with her iconic leer, quivery voice and cinematic glory, “Fasten your seat belts, it’s going to be a bumpy night!”



And a bumpy ride it is ... Several sly, sultry battles later, Eve ends up winning her Oscar, Margo gets to unload Eve and continue her lustrous career, and the next generation starlet looking for a shortcut to the top latches on to Eve. It's a movie filled with the same headaches and drama of those alternate routes the boyfriend finds. But in the end, if you think about it, they all get to the level of success they fought for. And it came with the price of constant paranoia of the people that are going to pass them up - those that tailgate, cut them off, and sneak by on their blind side. Their journey to the top wasn't as pleasant as it could have been had they respected the rules of the road and those on it.

In life we are all going to come to bottlenecks along the way, and it's up to us to either wait patiently, like everyone else on the highway, or to get creative and take a little risk to outmaneuver the others. To me the uncharted path is a lot more stressful, but that's probably because I always get lost when I'm on it. However, whether you choose the prescribed and steady or seek the accelerated and risky, you should respect everyone else on the road and thank those that helped pave the way. That is:

• Show your gratitude to those that let you merge.
• Don't hold grudges against those that cut you off.
• Let other road warriors in.
• Don’t flick anyone off.
• Don’t tailgate. 
• And don’t make the traffic patterns more difficult for others.

Like I said, we’ll all get to a good place. Some of us may get the outdoor table and some of us may be stuck at the bar next to the creepy old guy, but we will all have the chance to eat, drink and be merry when the commute is over. And you never know - it may rain on the outdoor tables and Mr. Right may sit down next to you, the slow commuter, at the bar.

Lo

Cristine's 1st Recipe - My Tacos!

A couple weeks ago, my friend Cristine asked that once a week, if I didn't mind, could I supply her with a recipe for dinner. She had grown tired of the same old, and wanted some inspiration in the kitchen. Like me, she cooks for two (her husband and herself), but recently, she found out there is a third on his or her way. Right now, the doctor said the third is the size of an onion, so I figured, what better time to start developing a recipe box for Cristine. This way I'll be doing my part to help the onion grow into a healthy, happy honeydew.

So ... on this page, once a week, I will publish one of my recipes for Cristine (and my other readers of course.) They are generally adaptations from other sources, but with a portfolio of making family dinners since the seventh grade, prepping alongside Chef Derek and his crew at the restaurant I used to manage, and signing up for the sport of cooking with my boyfriend, I believe these recipes are tried and true. Happy cooking and feasting!

Taco Night for Two

When deciding what to make for dinner during the week nights, I turn to several sources for inspiration including Food and Wine, Saveur, Smitten Kitchen, Pioneer Woman, and my recipe binder (no link available ... yet). However, once every couple of weeks, I defer to the oracle of my boyfriend and ask, "What should I make?" This inevitably ends up with the answer, "Taco night!" I have to agree though, this is the go to solution for a spiced up, satisfying and sensational meal.

We both grew up eating tacos and fajitas with our families on a regular basis, so it's one of those innate cravings that we get. But after trying tacos, tostados, burritos and fajitas from East to West; dive to fine dining restaurant, my palate for the traditional Ortega taco kit has evolved. So, I have taken my best memories from Fiestas past and stacked them into a double wide hard shell.

This is my latest and greatest recipe for tacos. A forewarning though - you will need to be ready to go when the first flame hits the first pan. Everything should be chopped, in order, and thought through. Its a fierce, 30 minute game of sizzling and stirring, but I'm telling you, the sweat and tears (from the onions of course) is well worth it. You'll also be surprised to find out that your hubby (or significant other) can easily house FIVE of them in one sitting.

Shake up a margarita (or virgin one, Cristine) and have fun been being a little senorita for the evening.

Ingredients

Meat

3/4 lb Ground chuck (I have also used slow roasted and pulled pot roast, pork shoulder, and chicken thighs, which are GREAT options, but the memory of childhood lies in the ground chuck!)

1/4 cup minced sweet yellow onion

2 cloves of garlic minced

1 tablespoon butter 

3 Chipotle Peppers in Adobe Sauce chopped up

2 Tablespoons of the Adobe Sauce (take this from the same can of peppers)

1/2 cup Beef Stock

1 (or 2) teaspoons Cumin (I use one because the boyfriend thinks Cumin smells like a Yeti)

1/2 teaspoon ancho chile powder 

1 teaspoon Salt (or more based on preference)

1 teaspoon to 1 Tablespoon corn starch (for thickening sauce)

Caramelized onions

1 tablespoon butter

1 onion thinly sliced

1 clove garlic minced

1 teaspoon jalapeno, poblano, or serrano pepper minced (optional)

Salt 

Pinto Beans

1 can Frijoles Pintos

4 cloves garlic minced

1/2 cup chicken stock

1/2 tablespoon butter

1 Tablespoon chopped cilantro

Salsa Fresca

1 ripe tomato diced evenly

1 ear of sweet corn, kernels removed (click here for instructions)

1/4 cup red onion minced

1 teaspoon minced jalapeno pepper (optional)

1/2 teaspoon minced garlic

1 Tablespoon olive oil

1 Tablespoon cilantro

Squeeze of lime juice

Salt

Pepper

Guacamole

1 ripe Avocado (save the pit)

1 clove garlic minced

Juice of one lime

1 teaspoon chopped cilantro

Salt and pepper to taste

Drizzle of olive oil

Shredded Colby and Monterrey Jack cheese

Taco shells (I prefer the double thick crunchy ones)

Procedure

Okay, like I said this is a timely process, so here is the order in which you need to do things:

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees and set the taco shells on a baking sheet to the side of the oven.

2. Salsa and Guacamole (They are super easy, so get them out the way and on the table)

Salsa

In a medium bowl, combine the ingredients, stir, and let sit.

Guacamole

Peal and pit the avocado (but save the pit) - mush it up, and mix in the rest of the ingredients in a small bowl. Put the pit in the center and let sit. (Somehow the pit has magic powers that makes the guacamole not turn brown)

3. Pinto Beans

Beans

In a small pot on the back burner, melt butter over medium heat. Add minced garlic and cook for 1 or 2 minutes. Drain the can of pinto beans and add to the pot along with the chicken stock and cilantro. Let this mixture steam over low to medium heat until everything below is done.

4. Meat and Onions (these generally take the same amount of time, so you basically want to do these simultaneously)

Meat 

In a large saute pan on the front burner, melt the butter over medium heat. Then add the meat, onions and garlic and cook till meat is browned (probably 7 minutes). Add the beef stock, peppers, adobe sauce, cumin, ancho chile, and salt. Let it simmer for three minutes so the flavors blend together. Thicken the sauce with corn starch. Add a teaspoon at a time and stir in until you reach the right consistency.

Onions

In a large saute pan on the other front burner, melt the butter over medium heat. Then add the onions, garlic and pepper (if you are using.) Saute, stirring occasionally, until the onions are golden brown and caramelized.

5. Heat the Taco shells: Put the Taco shells in the pre-heated oven for 5 minutes.

6. Mash the Beans: Open the pot of beans, and with a potato masher or spoon, mash up the beans so they are roughly pureed.

7. Assemble the serving station with all the ingredients and invite your significant other to 'dish up!' My favorite way to stack them is meat on the bottom, then beans, cheese, onions, salsa, guacamole, and a little hot sauce on the top.

OLE!

Lo

7 Days, 4 Cities, 33 Miles, 1 Take-Away

As you may or may not know, I am training for the Chicago Marathon. I'm following Hal Higdon's novice II plan, which is an 18-week regimen complete with training tips and Marathon best practices (and is available for free online.) One of the tips Hal frequently references is to vary your workouts and courses. His theory is that running long distances for 18 weeks can get monotonous, so seeking out diverse terrains can keep you motivated and able to make the most of your training experience.

I took Hal Hidgon's advice very seriously this week and trained in four different places in seven days: New York City, Chicago, Houston, and Cap Cod. (Granted, my training coincided with work and personal travel, but I still thought it was a cool feat.) This week I’ve run through scorching heat, soaking humidity, dense fog, balmy breezes, torrential downpours, crowds of people, commuter traffic and parades. Each run and climate presented new challenges and different applications to Hal's theory of varied workouts, but after putting his principle to practice, I concluded that more than the diverse settings, it was the people around me on each course that kept me motivated and going strong.   

So let me take you down 20 of the 33 miles that I ran this week. 

10 miles through Central Park, New York City

Last weekend I was in New York City for an engagement party. On Sunday morning I set off to run the very dense and congested Central Park course. With a loop around the reservoir added, it was 10 miles of running alongside, around, and through crowds. People were out by the masses pushing strollers, riding bikes, jogging, power walking, racing, and rollerblading in a giant loop around the Park. And I was playing dodgem through this semi-controlled chaos. Everyone had their own method of making it around the loop, but all of us were determined to go the distance. 

The crowds were a little stressful at first, especially during the segment where I had to combat Puerto Rican Day and Girls on the Run traffic, but after I figured out my pacing and the culture of the movement, I was able to hold my own, and ultimately excel. All the people, and the pulses and rhythms that radiated from them, inspired me to keep going, push harder, and do better. By the time I hit the 7 mile mark, I was pretty sure I could have run a whole marathon that day. I realized that all the other people in the park were indirectly supporting my efforts and making me better. Somehow, we were all better together. 

After making it the full 10 miles, I was greeted at an ad hoc finish line by my boyfriend, which was the best support system possible. I didn't know whether or not we would be able to meet up - but there he was at 59th Street and Fifth Avenue, rooting for me as I clocked in for the day.

Later that day, my biggest fan and I met up with friends in Battery Park to board a ferry bound for an evening of celebration at the Bayonne Golf Club.

5 miles in Naperville, Illinois 

I live about thirty miles outside of Chicago, in the burgeoning suburb of Naperville. And it seems like the entire adult population of Naperville finds a means of rapid transportation to get out of this suburb and into Chicago every morning. Just as they are trying to do this, I put on my running shoes and attempt to compete with their speed and ferocity.

My weekday runs in Naperville are generally more like sprints, because I have a limited amount of time before I have to shower, change and make it to work. I tend to rush out my door and onto the streets to do battle with the traffic. The sidewalks are unpredictable, so I tend to stick to the side of the road, driven by the need to beat the cars. I'm sure about 80% of the morning commuters are now familiar with the girl in the yellow or white hat running through Naperville every morning. I sense their respect and encouragement as they have learned to defer to me a bit. Just like the masses in Central Park, they contribute to making me a better runner. 

Oh ... and one more thing helps too. Everyday I pass by my biggest fan's house and there is the continuous potential that he will pop outside to surprise me and cheer me on from the sidelines. He has done this on numerous occasions, and like I said earlier, this is the best support system of all.

And from there ... off to work I go (it just so happens that this work day included a Chicago White Sox game!) 

6 miles in Houston, Texas  

This run presented several big challenges which included scorching heat, overwhelming humidity, and developing cold symptoms. When I stepped out of my hotel at 8:00 AM, it registered 98 degrees with a heat index of 104. No one else was running. It was just me. I had mapped out a run on Gmap-pedometer that took me to the river (which I actually learned was a Bayou or a man-made ditch later in the day) and then back along more major roads. Since I was in Houston alone, running alone, I thought this was the safest bet. 

However, after I made it to the Bayou, I couldn't imagine making it back. I was drenched already and there was no one next to me or around me to motivate me to keep going. I stopped and watched all the Texans in their air conditioned cars drive past me, giving me incredulous stares, not encouraging me like my commuter rivals in Naperville. I knew I had to be on the job soon, so I sucked it up, turned around and started back. Instead of taking the same route though, I felt out another way ... and ended up running into the others - The other people out exercising that morning. These were the natives who had found the best place to do it, which was along a promenade, under huge trees shading us from the sun, in the most beautiful community. As I passed the power walkers, they gave me smiles, approving nods, and even a cheer or two. As it got even hotter and as I went from drenched to whatever is more sweaty than that, I picked up my pace and made it through, because I had all these wonderful Southern supporters around me. 

When I got back, I called my boyfriend to tell him about the hottest run ever. As always he played the part of my biggest fan, impressed, encouraging, and invested in my performance. 

And I got some kudos from new friends made in Houston as we celebrating that night after a long work day.

9 miles in Woods Hole – Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Really challenging runs are inherent when you are training for a Marathon. One of those came today as I ran the shore trail from Woods Hole to Falmouth and back again. It was a 9 mile jaunt that on any other day should have been a piece of cake, but for some reason today, it was just painful. I was mid-cold and pretty congested. I also felt heavier than usual – I felt that my legs were dragging the way they did during that Rutgers game senior year, when I just couldn’t lift them up to get to a ground ball. (And we ended up losing)

I made it though – I did the whole distance and still clocked in at my normal pace. But unlike the other runs this week, I made this one because of the people that I am running for. They weren't on the trail with me that day. It was a pretty quiet trail in fact. Rather, they were there with me in spirit - They are the children and families that have been served by the programs of Ronald McDonald House Charities. I am driven because I want to run for them - because they may never get to run through the country like I can. I am running for Josh, who has cerebral palsy; CJ, who is still recovering from a traumatic accident; Elsie who has been through 25 surgeries and is stronger than I will ever be; and Joshi who drew me a picture to tell me about his courageous journey ahead. I know each of these fighters would have run a marathon as well, and if they could have done it, I can do it. That's what pushed me through this tough run and what keeps pushing me to make it to the finish line on October 10. 


The thing that I have learned through training this week is that I need other people around me to make me better. Being alone on the trail is nice sometimes, but in order for me to go this grand Marathon distance, I need lots of support, even if its from strangers. It's all the other people out there that make me better on and off the trail.

... And after the long runs and the big one on October 10, it really helps when there are celebrations and glasses of wine to look forward to. 

... especially when they're on a skiff in Woods Hole!

Lo 

If you want to support my fundraising efforts for Ronald McDonald House Charities and the over four million children and families we serve each year through programs like the Ronald McDonald House, please visit www.active.com/donate/RMHC2010/LaurenLo 

Happy Anniversary!

Yesterday I celebrated my paper anniversary … with my company. I'm proud of this milestone and believe that the relationships I have established with my teammates and company at large are stronger than ever. As I was congratulated, toasted and pinned (yes, I got the official company pin), I started to think about the deliberations and realizations that went into reaching the goal of a job that compliments and enhances me. Ironically enough, I went through a similar process of reflection during my grand search for a special significant other.  

Much of the soul-searching process through my twenties has happened over fruitful dialogues touching on personal case studies, best practices, and next steps with friends and family. In particular, I have a good friend who is the master of finding lessons and 'realizations' in our lives. About once a week I talk with Rebecca on the phone. For about a half an hour, usually during our commutes home, we deliberate over trials and triumphs of our work and personal lives. Rebecca generally comes to the conversation confident in the education she has acquired in the past week, and ready to share it. Without fail, there is always a moment in the call where she soundly states, "This week I came to the realization that...." and these realizations can range from "I need to date someone older than me" to "I need to date someone younger than me." From "I just love living in the city of Pittsburgh” to "I just need to get out of here!!"

After years of thoughtful reflection, my takeaway from these calls is that we need different things, both complementary and contradictory at different times in our lives to render us satisfied, successful and … (sigh) complete. Our personalities and characters are rich and complicated and there is not one size fits all solution to the age-old mystery of what will make us happy. 

However, many target their job or a committed relationship as the bedrock of happiness - They hope to be confidently employed doing something they are passionate about; and committed to a person who shares their passions. After finding what I believe to be healthy, happy, and committed personal and work relationships, and after hours on the phone with Rebecca, I believe there are ways to cut to the chase in your search for contentment on the job or in a relationship. AND … you should start with these four questions:

1. What makes you sustainably satisfied and if you don't know you should stay on question 1 till you know. This may be the most time consuming and difficult of the questions, but taking leaps and bounds into jobs and relationships without knowing what really makes you tick, can be devastating in the end.

2. Do you want to play for a team or are you better off alone? 

3. Are you a good team player? 

4. Do you believe you can play on, significantly contribute to, and grow within this specific team?  

If you answer no to question 2 you should be self employed and single for the rest of your life. 

If you answer no to question 3, it’s okay to a certain degree. If you are a really bad team player, again you should be self employed and single for the rest of your life.) If you are not a perfect team player at first, this is a skill more or less that you can improve throughout the years. This is part of your learning curve and development on the job or in a relationship. 

And for question 4 - once you have done your due diligence in terms of researching the pros and cons of the team you are thinking about playing for - do you really think this is the one you want to be committed to.

Here's how this process went for me:

In college, and in particular when studying abroad in Rome, I learned what really made me happy in life. That was a balance – a balance between the world of arts and athletics; family and friends; faith and exploration. I had the opportunity to do everything and I was busy with, invested in, and excited by all the different undertakings. After I graduated from college though, I signed up for a job that didn't allow this rich balance. This made me unhappy and I knew I had to redirect and research a career move that was going to open the doors to what had previously made me happy. I wanted to play for a team that would nurture and challenge me; enable my growth and maturity, and celebrate milestones with me. 

With due diligence, hard work, and a little bit of luck, I believe I have found a company that I want to work for throughout the majority of my life.

Similarly, I knew I ultimately wanted to play on a team in my personal life as well. When seeking Mr. Right, I looked toward my other relationships and team members that made me happiest and most successful: Those people that accepted me for who I was, built up my confidence, made me feel more empowered, echoed my enthusiasm for life, challenged me to think in different ways, and helped me score the winning goal. I wanted the same kind of teammate in my significant other. I tried on chiropractors and architects; bankers and producers; short ones and tall ones; good ones and bad ones; but only one stuck. Granted, I think I was in the right place at the right time when stumbling upon the boyfriend, but I believe it took a lot of finding what I didn't want, to know exactly when I found what I did want.

After saying this though, after I believe I have landed in the right job and alongside Mr. Right. I couldn't help but think about the news we heard a couple weeks ago - when we learned about the separation of esteemed marital partners, Tipper and Al Gore. After celebrating their forty-year anniversary, they retired from each other. Without rumors of cheating, children out of wedlock, or abuse many analysts said that this marriage was successful. It fulfilled a role in both Al's and Tipper's lives, and now they were simply ready for the next stage of their lives. 

In corporate America, even in my company, where the majority of employees are lifers – you inevitably end up in retirement. When you want to get the most out of the remaining years of your life and have saved enough money to do it, you say toodle-loo and hit the links, travel the world, become a docent, go fishing, or do whatever it is you find relaxing. It's a great period of time for further exploration into the ways of the world.

However, I don't want to think that the same form of retirement holds true in a marital relationship - That after you have raised children, developed the talent, and sent them off to conquer the world, you should want to retire from your partner. I want to believe that in each phase of life, if you have been lucky enough to find the right teammate, you will want to play on that team till the game is over. 

My coach used to always say, overtime is the toughest, but most important part of the game - we had to play the hardest, not let up, and concentrate more than ever. I guess Al and Tipper were okay with draws and stalemates. Or, they came to the realization that they never really answered question 1, and now they wanted to find that for themselves. 

Rebecca and I have been on and off the phone for almost twenty years – basically from the third grade on - talking about crushes and crashes. These vignettes have ultimately always led to discussions about what makes us happy. This is the most important question you can ask yourself. Before signing up and signing on to a team in corporate America or with a significant other, make sure you take the time to get to know yourself first. I truly believe that if you do this, you will make stronger, smarter decisions in your relationships - you will make more positive contributions and celebrate many more anniversaries.

Lo 

In Memoriam of Memorial Days Past

I am braising short ribs to cap-off a fun-filled Memorial Day weekend. I have three hours to spare according to Miss Smitten Kitchen before the bones separate and I'm supposed to pry my hand away from my glass of wine to start the fat-draining, reduction making, and swiss chard preparing processes. So while partially paying attention to Notre Dame's attempt to beat Duke in the NCAA Men's Lacrosse Championship game, I'm getting that nostalgic, what-happened-in-years-past feeling. Ah ... where have I been in Memorial Days past? And how far have I come?

In 2000 I was playing lacrosse in the National All-Star tournament in Springfield, Massachusetts. I finally made the Mid-Atlantic team as one of the two or three players that Pittsburgh gets to send, and I was determined to showcase my goal-scoring talent. Even though the experience was a humbling lesson in how real lacrosse was played, I managed to knock in a couple of goals in front of the college recruiters that lined the field. Soon after the tournament I graduated from the Ellis School (my high school) with horrible tan lines from a day spent at the pool, ready to start the next Chapter in my academic and athletic adventures. But first, my best friends and I celebrated at every nightclub in Cancun.

The Memorial Day weekends of college were not that memorable - I think they can be summed up by lazy days at the Pittsburgh Golf Club pool followed by Barry festivities in the evenings.

Memorial Day weekend 2004 through 2007 brought escapism in Sin City. In May of 2004 I said goodbye to collegiate lacrosse. I stepped off the field at Northwestern University in tears - crying because the mannish girls in gray unitards had just eliminated us from the NCAA tournament and with that our national championship dreams; because an amazing part of my life was over; and because I had no clue what my next move was going to be. The same fateful weekend that we lost, I also graduated with my best friends from college. A week later, with no intention of figuring out 'next steps' I flew to Las Vegas to have a very exclusive Memorial Day weekend graduation party with some of my best friends.

For five days we tore up the town - danced with ancient Asians (Kristen, I won't show the picture) and celebrities like Jerry O'Connell. And swore that every year, Memorial Day weekend, we would come to Vegas together to party. The tradition lasted three years, until the first of us (the one that met her husband on a flight home from Vegas) got married. For me, each of these Vegas vacations was just what I needed, when I needed it - a reminder that despite doubts and downers, I had amazing friends that always brought the best and the party out of me.

A couple years later, the Memorial Day of 2008, I was in a place drastically different and removed from where I had been in the past. I had been through my first year of business school, which didn't just bring the opportunity to reignite and redirect my career aspirations, but it brought my boyfriend. During Memorial Day weekend, I was moving closer to my boyfriend's hometown and a successful career. I was moving my stuff into a small bedroom in the Lincoln Square neighborhood of Chicago. My roommate for the summer wasn't there, so I opened my computer and set my move to the pop tunes of 2009 - dancing my way into the Renaissance room that I would call home for three months. My boyfriend's mom added the finishing touch when she stopped by to bring me flowers as an apartment-warming gift. It was a great start to a great summer. 

Last year, Memorial Day weekend 2009, brought another chapter in my life's uncertainty. I was waiting to hear whether or not I would get my dream job, but I didn't let this stressor interfere with the weekend's celebration - the wedding of two of my favorite people. My boyfriend's sister and her husband got married at St. Michael's in Old Town and celebrated at the Art Institute of Chicago in sheer class. From start to finish it was an elegant affair that marked the beginning of a beautiful marriage. (As a side note, I wore an amazing blue Theory dress with black five inch Cole Hahns.) I boogied down with the whole family, which was of course an exposition, as most had never seen my puppet dancing in full-form before. While on the dance floor, in the arms of my boyfriend, and in the presence of some of the most fun-loving, generous, and kind people that I know - my stress didn't exist. Everything was okay.

This year I was in Los Angeles visiting two of my good high school friends, Tricia and Gretchen, who had recently moved to the West Coast. It was a 48 hour whirlwind of intense activity, broken up by sumptuous feasting and rip-roaring laughter. 

I ended my rigorous Saturday of running, hiking, tanning, and walking in L.A in sheer celebration - over champagne cocktails, Cher and shimmy-shakes in a nightclub in West Hollywood. It wasn't a far cry from the dancing that I had done in years past - but it was with a new perspective on life - one that echoed emotions that I felt during the hike earlier that afternoon. 

Although it was difficult to navigate the steep grades and trying terrains after my routine morning run, I did it. I was uncertain about whether or not I could make it - I was exhausted from the morning run, I wasn't properly dressed, I didn't look that great without my make-up on - but driven by an insatiable appetite to achieve more, support from friends, and laughter along the way, I made it, to the top - but with a view of more mountains to climb in the future. I know these future mountains may be far more difficult to climb, but I'm sure I can scale them. I am pretty proud of the accomplishments that I have made so far. I also know that am equipped and conditioned to face and overcome upcoming obstacles. 

And ... when I fail, I know that every Memorial Day, I will always have great friends by my side. They will be there for me for good or for worse - to listen, encourage, and ultimately to celebrate and dance with me.  

The ribs are ready ... 

Lo 

Keeps Your Friends Close, and Your Family Closer

My small elementary school, St. Edmund's Academy, had an annual talent show. It was comprised of roughly 70 acts, lasted two hours, and was very predictable. 65% of the participants played the piano (poorly) with the exception of two sets of siblings that battled for the title of most dominantly dexterous family: The Asians who were masters of skill versus the Anglo elite who added tempered emotion to their repertoire. Another 25% of the participants attempted to put Mrs. Lutz' instrumental lessons to the test on stage. Worse than the Camptown Races-playing piano players, these kids inevitably ended up deafening the audience with piercing squeaks as they tried to pass into the upper register.

The remaining acts were the more original and memorable. Jessica Block sang "For the Beauty of the Earth" as a solo; Nathan Appel and Aaron Sokolow did different Abbott and Costello acts; A very short Jewish kid danced to and impersonated Michael Jackson - white glove, moonwalk, 'I'm Bad,' no mask; One of the eighth graders recited The Raven; And ... in second grade, after watching the annual performance two years in row, envious of the attention that the participants received, I got the courage to sign up and became one of those unique acts.

I had been ballet, jazz and tap dancing since the Pre-Kindergarten, and I loved it. (Hmm ... still do.) When it came to recital time every year, I was perhaps the most enthusiastic, confident, smiley, and showy girl on stage. Meghan Nichborowitz may have trumped me in skill and flexibility, but I had the pizazz, panache and presence that enabled me to win jazz dancer of the year circa 1989. Equipped with this love of dance and sense of confidence, I decided I was seasoned enough to dance in front of all the boys that I had crushes on at my school (and there were many!) And I entered the talent show.

I still remember putting my name on the list outside of Mrs. Lochran's music room:
My talent - Jazz dance.
The artist I danced to - Madonna. (In second grade I picked Cherish, but future routines were set to the beats of Vogue, Express Yourself and Like a Prayer.)
My costume - a gold leotard that my sister still likes to remind me looked like a gold swimsuit.

When it came time for the big show I knew my dance cold and I looked good (crimped hair with a little headband; stomach not sticking out as much as usual; little bit of stage make-up compliments of my babysitter, Debbie). But ... I was extremely nervous.

There was a trifecta of nerve-wracking factors: First, I was #67 out of 70 acts, meaning I was nearly the finale of the show, and who can compete with Abbott and Costello?! Second, my positioning in the show sandwiched my act and thus my seat in the auditorium between my two older grade-school crushes - Eric Nordby and Ryan Sansosti. Just sitting next to them was bad enough - sitting next to them while only wearing a leotard, when everybody else was fully clothed, made it ten times worse. Third, with only five minutes remaining till show-time, I still couldn't find my parents in the audience.

The monstrous portion of linguini with clam sauce that Debbie made me eat after school started to fire back as my nerves escalated and the clock inched closer to 6 PM - the start of the show. My Mom always complained about events starting too close to the end of the work day or during dinner time - and this show fit into both of these scheduling predicaments. I knew my family was going to cut it close, as they always did, but not sensing their presence as the lights started to dim, made me more and more nervous. But just as the sole kindergartner of the show took the stage for his piano piece, I was relieved to see my family enter the auditorium and take their seats. Just like that my heart stopped palpitating at a record pace, the butterflies flew away, and my carbo-loaded dinner converted into pure energy.

After an hour and forty-five minutes, it was my turn. I ran down the stairs of the auditorium and up into my spot on center stage. As "Cherish ... Cherish ..." started ringing through the auditorium, I plastered my big showy smile on my face and started bouncing across the stage in waves of jazz-squares and jazz-hands, wrap-arounds, sachets, shoulder movements, and pointed poses. As I jazz-ran my way into my final pose, and the audience broke into approving applause, I looked up to see my family beaming with pride and praise at my performance.

After the show they greeted me with a big bouquet of flowers; gave me big hugs and told me how well I had done in comparison to the rest of the acts - how special my act was. With them by my side, I didn't care if others found my talent a little odd - I was no longer embarrassed or shy - I could perform at my highest level knowing that I had their support.

My parents both had full-time jobs when I was growing up. But whenever there was something important. When we had a Greek Banquet, our art displayed in an art show, the lead or even the bit part of 'girl-laughing' in a play, the coveted lead girl medallion in Chapel, or the 24-hour flu, they were there. No matter the time of day or day of the year, they were there for all the important stuff. They believed that we - us kids and their family came first. As I try to juggle my professional and personal life, without children, I can see and finally appreciate the difficulty, exhaustion and selflessness that went into my parents' master planning to be at our every event.

This past week there were a couple occasions that made this lesson I learned during my early childhood - that family matters most and makes all the difference - relevant during this phase of my life.

This past week my Dad was honored as a distinguished alumnus from the Katz School of Business. When he told all of us that it would be really nice if we came, I was kind of like - 'okay - so I'm supposed to cross off one of my coveted vacation days, buy a plane ticket, and not stress out about not being able to answer the 56 emails that will inevitably start blowing up my phone?!'

But after thinking about it, I knew that yes - I had to fly home, sit next to my father during the ceremony, cheer him on, give him a big hug after he accepted his award and made an inspiring speech, and pose for pictures afterward. I knew my presence to my father that evening was congruent to my parents' presence for my every award, artistic endeavor, and athletic event (anybody that can sit through that many women's field hockey, softball and lacrosse games deserves massive kudos). What meant the world to me through grade school and high school, I have come to realize means the world to my parents and siblings as well.

A couple days later I made the two-hour drive south to attend my brother's graduation from Notre Dame Law School. A couple months before the pomp and circumstance, he wrote us all an email with the weekend's schedule and a disclaimer that he wasn't into all the graduation stuff, and he didn't really care if we attended. But when the whole family was there, cheering him on as he got hooded, I knew he really did care. Maybe he didn't need us there for the ceremony of it all, but he needed us there to toast him and celebrate his victory over all-nighters, the uber-competitive dorky set, and finally having an exit strategy from a seven-year stint in South Bend, Indiana.

Finally, this week I had the opportunity to study one of my professional role models in action at a charitable fundraiser. I was invited to an event in support of St. Judes Children's Hospital and Research Center by this former Chief Marketing Office and soon-to-be CEO. When I entered the ballroom with my boyfriend to take the seat at her table (front row, center) I was surprised, but pleasantly so, to find out that our party for the evening was entirely made up of her family members. I was the lucky intruder in this close-knit inner circle. An aura of warmth, friendliness, and reality set the tone for our dinner table. And while the other tables around us were talking about business deals, trophy wives, and golf games, we were talking about weddings, new additions to the family, high school sports, and college searches. It made me realize that when you achieve a certain level of success and your job becomes not just full-time, but all the time, it makes it a lot better to have your family there by your side during the parts of it that they can be.

She told me after the event that I was astute to notice that her family was always by her side. She said, "that's what matters in life."     

Whether you consider 'family' close friends, neighbors, colleagues, or immediate family; it's the unwavering support of these loved ones that enhances your spirit to achieve. When I got up on stage in the second grade in my gold leotard - I knew my act was a little different. I knew I was young and that the upperclassmen were going to think - 'what is this little girl doing on stage wearing that?!' But I confidently performed my routine, struck a pose and then made my bow - I could do this because I knew my family would give me a standing ovation no matter what.

As you sign up and sign on for the circus of corporate America - you sign up to produce and perform - to be evaluated and judged on your talents and how you employ them. But as you balance on the high wire, swing from the trapeze, play the clown, perform juggling acts, and tame lions - know that there will be some that boo you off the stage - and some that shout out, "ENCORE!" In the end your loved ones will be the consistent presence in your life cheering you on no matter what. They are what matters, they know what counts.

Congrats Dad and Lil Bro!

Lo