A Dating Game?

When I was chronically single, which I like to argue was self-imposed, but looking back on it might have been due to shortcomings in dating knowhow, I couldn't find a boyfriend for the life of me. Singledom inhabited 25 years of my life, and though I enjoyed it, I also craved the love and companionship of a significant other. I had resigned finding a match to the realm of impossible during my sister's wedding in 2007, but as I entered the right place at the right time (otherwise known as business school with a girl to guy ratio of 1 to 5) I miraculously found Mr. Right knocking on my door. 

I recently went through another dry-spell of sorts. This one was in the job market. Currently, about 40% or more of my graduating MBA classmates are in the same dry-spell. They can't get a date or engage in a more serious relationship with a company for the life of them. Finding a job in today's economy is much like the dating market. There are broad array of methods to go about a company courtship in hopes of finding that illusive job. 

First, there are awkward periods of forced networking, which mimic the activities and conversations of speed dating; Glib, processed, and rehearsed dialogue, which might just land you with a phone number or email address. There are on-line profiles, applications, and screening to get your name out there in hopes that some company fishing to fill a role might choose your name out of the millions of other perspectives. Similar to Match.com, Yahoo! Personals, eHarmony, and so on, usually you get a solicitation from an interested party who you have no interest in. If you are more desperate than most you hire a pimp or a head-hunter, much like the career development office. They make all these significant and wonderful promises, and when they can't deliver, you feel violated and in a vicious cycle of obligation to them.  

There is also the progressive hierarchy of dates with a company in order to establish a chance at a full-time commitment, which mimics the dating game quite well. First, there is the initial screening, which can be viewed as that first meeting at a bar, where you might reveal your go-to story, personality trait, or exciting experience set. Second, there is the scheduled first round interview where you get a full hour or two to reveal a more representational side of yourself, without giving away too much that is personal, embarrassing, or risky. Then you get the call back interview, the second rounder where your future co-workers dig in deeper to reveal a more robust character profile. This is kind of like your second date experience when you forget to demurely laugh, but let out a guffah and a hearty-har-har and your first eccentricity is exposed. Then there's the reference check when the company gets to ask questions and gain insight from your previous employers about your relationship, just as the potential boyfriend will ask every guy he knows what they know about you. Finally, if you got the call back, got through the first and second interview, if your record is clean, and if everyone that knows you says good things, you have a good chance of establishing a commitment from the company. 

I recently received such a commitment call. On Wednesday around 9 AM central time, I got confirmation that my future employer wanted to establish a committed and long-term relationship with me. I was thrilled. I had been waiting with my hand on the phone for weeks, just I would have had I been waiting for the boy that I liked to call me. I willed the phone to ring day after day, and when it finally did, my heart skipped a beat. I got butterflies in my stomach, and when the words, "we would like to go ahead and extend you an offer" came out of the HR representative's mouth, I had to hold back tears, which I later let out on the phone with my boyfriend. 

My job search process progressed in the fashion of serial dating, much like I described above. I awkwardly networked, fearlessly accumulated cards and contact information, had informal coffee dates to informational interview, made on-line profiles, and solicited myself through career development. However, the odd thing is that this particular role that I will be performing come June 15th, kind of just fell in my lap. I applied to and talked with representatives from every other job function within the corporation I set my career focus on. However, this role sought me. It kept calling back, until I ultimately fell in love with the idea of my contribution to the company through this position. 

It's just the way things seem to happen for me - - they seem to fall into place, always after my faith in myself has been questioned, and a little later than most people, in the right way. My relationship was similar to this job search. I had made my availability known, I had edited my profile over and over again, I had narrowed down an eligible dating bracket, and pondered over the possibility of this one and that one, however, when I least expected it, the right one found me, and kept calling me back. 

To all those job seekers, be true to who you are, figure out what you want out of a job, don't force something that isn't right, and keeping having faith and patience in yourself. You will find the right match. 

Happy hunting! 

Lo