It's Going

When you are managing a project, you're bound to have to field the question over and over again, until said project is complete, "So ... how's it going?" 


I typically embrace the query as I'm also typically armed with a thought-out response, corresponding metrics, a list of next steps, and a strategy for how to prioritize and balance the other unrelated projects and activities that I'm managing simultaneously.

My reply generally yields another question:
"How do you find the time to blog twice a week?"
(Ha!...) My rebuttal:
"I don't watch any television." 


The facial expression that acts as his or her reply tends to convey some sort of 'aha!' moment with an air of mental calculation as he or she figures out what they could be doing with the hours they spend watching Reality's finest line-up. And I tend to walk away, proud of my ability to manage, master tasks, prioritize - work, run, pray, cook, plan a wedding, travel, party, do everything, and then blog about it. Wow, I'm a superstar. 

And then last week happened. The week that Mr. or Mrs. "how the hell do you have time to blog?" put me in my place.
My silent, vacant blog response last week:
I don't.

Last week the do-it-all mentality was carried to an extreme. And unfortunately, it only acted as the amuse bouche for three more courses (or weeks) in a row, of 'come-on Lo, you can get er done, all by yourself.'

This week my projects, both professional and personal, collided, stressed me out, pushed me over the edge, and left me rattled when I left the office on Friday. And I didn't blog about any of them. I didn't even open up my profile to start piecing my thoughts together. I don't think I even had any thoughtful thoughts. I just had task lists running through me head, as more and more people asked me:
So how's project A going? 
Crap.
So how's project B going? 
Crap.
So how's project C going? 
CRAP!
So how's project D going? 
What the F is project D? Oh. CRAP!!
So how's the marathon training going? Have you started fundraising? 
Crap.

How's the wedding planning going? 
Ummm ... (thinking: need to make an agenda, welcome bags, cartoon, bridesmaids gifts, program, seating assignments, hair and make-up scheduling, outfits, dress fittings, Ughhhhhh ...)
Have you arranged to get a marriage license yet? You know it takes three days to process, so it won't be ready if you try to get it when you get home to Pittsburgh on the 30th.
F***!!!!!!!!!!!!

On Friday - at that glorious hour of 1:00 PM, when summer hours come to the rescue, I couldn't imagine leaving. I still had so much to do. I felt jittery and nervous. The many multi-stakeholder projects at work weren't complete, the writing was finished, the water as we prepare to welcome 1,000 people from around the world to a Conference that my department is hosting was getting higher, and I was going to be traveling next week. I started thinking about the big wedding plans, and yes, realized last week that the marriage license presents a big problem. I started analyzing my training and fundraising for the Chicago Marathon. (I did manage to knock out a 17-mile, 2:30 minute run on Saturday morning.) I have to move in less than a month. The cartoon maps of Pittsburgh needed to be done. I'm not giving up cooking every evening and hosting brunches. And I'm not missing any of the fun stuff - the parties, people, and places that make life that much more exciting. Every thing I'm working on seems to be at its peak and the vision of checking them off my list seems so far away. And I'm stressed.

Sitting at my computer last night and this morning helped. It helped me gain control again. And helped me remember that the destination isn't necessarily the best part, it's the journey. Especially, when the journey is dotted with Antonio Banderas, visits from Mom and Dad, dinner at Vie Restaurant, Hog Class pick-ups which contributed to an excellent brunch, an amazing couples shower, and flip videos of my niece, Lyla and her big beautiful eyes. And I also realized that I have a lot of people around me to help.

Off to enjoy the journey to Dallas and hoping for a more prolific week. 

Lo.