Body Language

I have a very curious, very vocal two-year old. From the moment she wakes up in the morning until her bedtime protests are silenced by a couple lullabies and sheer exhaustion, she wants to talk (or sing) to anyone willing to listen. While she has mastered identification of most everything in our house and the surrounding community, in her books, and in the wonderful world of Walt Disney's Cinderella, Bobby and her role as a big sister have inspired some additional language lessons over the past three months.

Like how she feels ... hot, cold, frustrated, sad and happy.
I want chocolate.
No.
I want chocolate.
No.
Mary frustrated. I need chocolate.
No, honey.
Mary sad. (Followed by a dramatic exodus to the sun room where she puts her head on the ottoman and pretends to sob.)
(And because it's really hard to keep saying no to her ...) Well, since you have been such a good big sister, you can have one Kiss.
Mary happy!

We've also been working on timing ... today and tomorrow, sleeping in between.
What's Mary, Mommy doing today?
I blow bubbles today.
And I go wimming (swimming) today.
I go Park today. Blue park.
Mary, Eva library today.
I eat kepitch (ketchup), drink milk today.
Mary, Mommy run, eat doughnuts today.
I want Daddy, basement, train tracks, Legos today.
I ride train, see Nanny Opa today.
Mary no nap today.
Mary wake up today.
Mary NO NAP!
Mary WAKE UP!
And on ...
And on ...
And on ...
Until she passes out.
In her mind, tomorrow brings the end of the weekend, Monday, work, and the end of my maternity leave. So everything has to happen today.

And we've learned a lot about mommies and their babies.
Mommy feed em. Milk in there. Two milks. I help. Empty. All done.
I want to hold him. I need wash cloth. (Positions burp cloth on her lap.)
Bobby spit up.
Mommy take em.
Mommy weep (sweep) it.

And she's starting to investigate boy stuff.
Bobby go first. Mommy change em. Poop in there.
Okay, Bobby's all clean. Mary's turn.
Poop in there.
No, he's all done honey. Come on, you're next.
No. Poop in there.
What?
Poop in there.
Oh.

And this is where I'm stumped. While I feel very comfortable guiding Mary through the dictionary and thesaurus, there is one category of verbiage that challenges me. Body language. I've got bum and poop and my bovine nature covered, but when it comes to identifying those other things that make boys and girls different, I want the conversation to end.

See, I grew up in the opposite of a naked house. It was more of a no shirt, no shoes, no service kind of place. And with it, I never became at home with the finer points of humanity's anatomy. Sure maternity, particularly labor and delivery and a general state of over exposure in the hospital have made nakedness less awkward for me, but I still find the communication of it uncomfortable.

I've been thinking through the other terms - the made up ones you hear other parents using - trying to figure out a pleasant way to spin certain truths. But the reality is, even as a marketer, there's no easy way to publicly converse about private parts. So I've decided that I will just be forthright about it. They are what they are. Done and done.

Anyway, what I really want my kids to know ultimately, is that even though we're all made a little different, it's okay for both boys and girls to wear the pants in life.

Lo.