After at least a dozen tries, dumplings have become relatively easy for me to make, but they remain time consuming. The filling takes a lot of chopping. The dough takes kneading. Then one by one, to get the desired level of thinness, I roll and roll and roll countless little balls into flat circles. Finally, there is the stuffing and pinching of each individual dumpling. From there, they are fried, then steamed. I make a little Asian sauce concoction to go on the side. Serve hot. With chopsticks. Voila. One happy little girl.
Mary requested that I make them last night.
I had the ingredients after many pleas to put ground pork in my cart on Sunday morning. But I'd been in meetings since 8:00 AM (a pattern on repeat recently.) I had to take one last conversation as I was trying to head out of the office for the day, so ended up running most of the way to catch the train. I was home after an icy bike ride at 5:45 PM. The dumpling preparation process described above takes at least an hour, so I figured dinner would be later than usual. Bobby had a soccer clinic in the afternoon where the coach didn't show up, so all three kids ended up running around a gym with their friends for an hour. They would all be starving, requesting snacks every 30 minutes. I looked at the frozen chicken tenders in the freezer. Nope. I can do it. I will do it.
Chop, mix, knead, roll, roll, roll, roll .... stuff, pinch, fry, steam, stir, serve.
At 6:40, one hungry, overjoyed girl gobbled up five and a half dumplings. I didn't count, she did. The faces she made bite by bite were comical. Filled with pure ecstasy. Margaret requested one after another as well. I told her enough, but she kept saying, 'no ... I wan more.' Bobby meanwhile had fallen asleep on the basement couch, curled up like a little angel, bowl of Fritos still in his hand. A full day of school plus soccer was a little too much for that four year. The images of those three last night, all well and wonderful, made the work worth it.
***
I was asked in an employee survey recently if I believed that I had a work / life balance.
My answer: No.
However, that response was unfair. I actually do have several hours of any given day plus weekends where I'm not working for my company - time where I could be doing yoga, reading books, socializing with friends, refining a unique hobby - time that corporations deem as 'life.' Those sacred, lively spare hours are dedicated to something else though - being a mom. So in essence, I'm always working. I call that a trick question.
Here's the thing though - I've always viewed life in general as hard work - at least that was the discipline my parents instilled in me. I try to express the same with my kids as well. I believe work gets a bad rap though - it's pinned as the stuff that no one wants to do. But I love my work - both in the office and at home. And I feel balanced as a person in my dual career. Save the example where I'm independently wealthy, I wouldn't want it any other way.
I will say though, even on the busiest of days, it does help to just sit and breath after the kids are asleep and after my brain has given my job all it can. Recently in that mindless time, I've been opening up my phone and scrolling through pictures. Ones where the kids aren't kids, but babies.
Ones that show how much fun we had at the pumpkin patch ...
and Cider Press party this year
Ones of Halloween parties and parades
And trick or treating through the snow.
Ones with family.
And ones with 'Older Friends.'
Ones when it was just Peter and I. When things were quiet, calm, and life was a little more in tune with what the corporate survey hinted at.
The pictures remind me of the gaps between all the hard work - the times when things seem a little easier. The times when you can pause and reflect on what you're working for.
Lo.
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