Extra Effort

Bobby is an all-sport athlete. Meaning, whatever sport his friends are playing, he plays too. While he is naturally athletic, built like a little line backer, and very fast. The rationale for his love of sport (if I'm to psycho analyze my kid) is not so much the joy and mastery of skill of whatever sport he is playing. Instead, it's for the love of any activity that allows him to a) run not walk, b) play with his friends, c) use an outside voice, and d) take off his mask.     

In the spring, he plays baseball and soccer. 

In the summer, he plays tennis and he will be on the swim team this year. 

In the fall, he plays soccer again. 

And currently, in the dead of winter, he plays basketball. There is a league in town, and his friend's dad, a former Notre Dame basketball player, is the coach, so I figured it was a must to sign him up.

He plays two times a week: one practice, one game. And looks forward to both. 

The one thing about the basketball program that makes it unique from the other sports Bobby plays, is that the league organizer gives out an 'Extra Effort' award every week. The award is a pack of Extra branded bubble gum. And each week, the kids listen intently to see if they have been deemed as someone who gave a little more oomph than the rest. Qualifiers for this tasty trophy are things like, 'sweating harder than the other kids on the court.' 'Listening the whole time.' 'Consistently doing a lay up with perfect form.' 

Basically, it's an award for discipline, and if you reflect on the reasons why Bobby loves sports right now, it's not for the mechanics, mastery and discipline of the game. 

So, in the weeks that he has played basketball in the fall and winter, he has yet to receive an Extra Effort award. Wun wun. 

Last Thursday, as I waited to pick him up, I listened as the latest award winners were rattled off, breath bated for if Bobby would be called. Literally, the stage mom in me, was making my heart race. A couple names and descriptions of A+ students later, Bobby walked away disappointed again. 

As we left the building, he told me his one friend had gotten the Extra Effort award four times. 'Four time! I can't believe it!' 

Seeking to understand if he could pinpoint the theme, I asked, 'why do you think he got it that many times?' 

'I don't know ... this time the coach said it was because he sweat a lot ... and that wasn't even real sweat. He poured water on himself at the end of practice!' 

I tried not to laugh. I asked, 'did you listen well, did you work as hard as you could?' 

'Yeah, I did, I did, I did.' 

But I can tell when he knows I've made a point. We walked the rest of the way to the car, breaking into a run about halfway there to keep from freezing. We got in, I started up the car and heat, and then opened up my glove compartment where I had a pack of Orbitz gum. I gave him a piece and some encouragement. 'Maybe next time buddy. Just keep working hard.' 

And as I reflected on that moment, I wrote my own participation award for Bobby. 

- For a kid (and parent), who finds a way to show up to practice every week. That first and foremost is an extra amount of effort in our household. 

- For a kid that brings out a critical component of being on a team: comradery, friendship, and a desire to bring people together 

- For a kid who always has a positive attitude and smile on the court  

- Who has endless energy. 

- Who will always stick up for his teammates if the other team is getting a little rough.  

- Who has the best dance moves, jokes and stories - aka distractions to the discipline they are likely coaching on the court 

- Who is sweet, thoughtful, and kind - if he got that pack of gum, I bet the first thing he would do is share it with the team. 

- Who loves the game - just as he loves all games that enable him to play with a group of kids his age. 

So with that, I give him the Orbitz Oward - for being an out of this world kind of kid. Ta da! Problem solved. One stick of gum and Mommy's 'Oward' should make him feel like the king of the court. 

The thing is, he was never not okay. Life went on for Bobby every time another name was called out. It was me, thinking he needed the nod from the coach as motivation, recognition, or another superlative in his life. But that's not Bobby. He's a team player at home, at school, and on the court. He values his connections and relationships with people over everything else. His award is just time out of the house with his pals. 

There will be a day when you get the icing on the cake though, Bobby. An Extra Effort or even an All Star award is bound to come your way. But for now, just know how much your Mom values the unique, awesome, and inspiring little boy that you are. 

Happy #7 birthday, Bobby - and what a snow, bowling, Lego building, new basketball hoop playing, partying kind of birthday it was.   

Love, 

Mommy