Performance Review

Tis the season of judgement. From figure skating and ski jumping at the Winter Olympics; to cut-throat and controversial Oscar campaigns; to performance reviews and bonus sign-offs at work - It's one of those times of the year, when we are especially critical and there is a line drawn between the winners and losers.

After nine months on the job, it's time to have the official one-on-one review with my boss. In preparation for this looming meeting I had to self-assess first, which was far more than listing past accomplishments and future goals on a piece of paper. Rather, it was a process that involved collecting and sorting evidence of the physical and psychological; tangible and intangible; work and work ethic. To provide the argument for my productivity, I asked colleagues to provide candid remarks about their working relationship with me, I sifted through my in-box, file folders, calendar, and scorecards to create complete lists of projects, and I strategically massaged the messaging about my work to tell an even better story.

Next I had to assess and convey my more touchy, feely strengths. I had to think of shining examples when I demonstrated leadership capabilities, team building and playing skills, openness to discovery and innovation, pursuit of excellence, and ethics.

I arrived at an honest and thorough self-judgment and presented my scoring and commentary to my boss to review. On Friday of this week, we will have a conversation about the scores to discuss whether or not she agreed, signed off, and compensated me based on these numbers. There is always the chance that she will not view my triumphs with the same clarity or excitement, that I wasn't reading the signs throughout the past nine months, and I will be fired on the spot. Maybe we are better friends, and less compatible in a working relationship. If this is the case, do I get referred to another friend, or kicked out of the inner circle completely? Because I am an over-analyzer this conversation will inevitably be uncomfortable, scary and awkward.

Last week I had a teaser of this meeting when I had the opportunity to sit next to my boss on the plane for 2.3 hours en route to Austin. To gain a better understanding of how she looked at performance reviews and issues, I told her about my upcoming blog entry and asked for her input. I wondered how she felt about judgments, assessments of strengths and weaknesses, and whether or not certain weaknesses were deal breakers. She made a very interesting comment: “There will always be those people that perpetually score 2s on certain sections and that's okay. These people fit in the grander organization. They may always score low on 'change leader' or 'innovator,' but their team building skills are exceptional."

This weekend, when describing her team at work, my sister-in-law put it in the vernacular. She said, "We need a good cop and a bad cop; the ying and the yang." So maybe a weakness or score of 2 here and there, aren't that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. Great teams are created when individuals with complementing strengths come together and are able to find a rhythm in the way they work.

Inevitably, this got me thinking about relationships whether freshly minted or 25 years in the making. Do you need periodic or even regularly scheduled performance reviews to make relationships work better and to let each other know where they stand? After all, this is one of the most important teams you invest in. Are such reviews for some couples and not others? Do they remove the romance, spontaneity, and secret challenge we give our significant others to know exactly what it is we want, when we want it? Or, perhaps do they ultimately boost the allure and mutual compatibility - opening the lines for candid communication and more comfortable subsequent dialogue? As I mark the 2.5-year mark with my boyfriend, I wonder if we are a couple that needs an official performance review?

Though necessary and effective in the professional setting, after witnessing two more personal examples I believe when dating, there's no need for scrutiny and intense assessments. If you get to that point, the relationship has lost its vital signs and you are probably doomed.

Experience one: I watched the movie 500 Days of Summer last night, which is a testament of how looking for cues in a relationship could save a lot of time and heartache. There were glaring signs that this relationship should be dissolved, even though the male lead was smitten, love-struck, and inspired by his muse. They didn't need an official review, because her body language became a scoring system of her own: Her carefree laughs turned to tears, her bright smiles turned to smirks, and her level of excitement turned to fatigue. At the end when explaining why she was able to marry someone ... but not him, she says, "I just knew ... and I never had that feeling with you." That's it. It's a feeling you either have right off the bat or come to know within a relatively short period of time. And when this feeling isn't mutual, you won't see the relationship mature, expand, and enlighten over the months and years.

Experience two: A friend sent me a score sheet of sorts that she had recently used when assessing the level of compatibility in her relationship. After presenting the list to her boyfriend, talking through the various parts, and disagreeing on many of the key items, their relationship was ... ding, ding, ding ... deemed incompatible and dissolved. It was a tough period of time following the break up, but she believes they are both in better places as a result. My questions though: How could you not know that you weren't on the same page in the two years leading up to this conversation? Were there not signs present? Did you not have the deeper dialogues in between play time? My belief is if you get to an official assessment in your relationship, it most likely isn't going to last.

I don't need a scoring system to let me know that my relationship or team is performing well or at its optimum. The confirmation is in the genuine laughter, the open conversations when I'm allowed to ask the ridiculous and still get an honest response, the excitement to see each other every day, the quality products we create together, and the growth we've enabled in each other. If these qualities weren't there, it would be obvious that the relationship wasn't going to make it.

So, when making your judgments about your relationship I would recommend looking at the following:

1. Do you smile and laugh 95% of the time, and when you cry does the other person make you feel all-the-way better?

2. Do you like spending more time with your significant other than alone or with friends?

3. Is the sum of your team, much better than the individual parts? Are you happier, healthier, kinder, wiser and perhaps even a better cook with that person by your side? And has that person told you that you bring out the best in him or her as well?

4. Do all the annoying weakness that you used to notice when dating - like creepy back grabs, odd balding patterns, weird hands, bad sense of humor, inability to dance, self consciousness, lack of athletic ability, stupidity - become irrelevant with this person?

5. Do you look at this person and say he or she is the one and really know it.

In a good relationship and on a good team, you just know when it's right and when it's working well. When performance issues arise, then yes, maybe it's time for that assessment. But most likely the complementary nature of your weaknesses with his or her strengths and vice versa is fleeting if you arrive at an official performance review.

Open to success stories though ...

Lo

Impress, Attract, Convert

One of my core responsibilities at work is to be the “voice” of my company online. I am charged with the provision of a compassionate, friendly, unique, and engaging tone in cyberspace. So, I tweet, post, respond, and manage web-content to educate the public at large. Each day, I send messages through various channels to a loyal group of followers, fans, and friends, who in theory act as brand ambassadors, magnify our messages by repeating what we say to their networks, and ultimately give us their money. My success is measured by impressions, click-thru rates, and the be-all-and-end-all, conversion rates.

Throughout the eight months I have been on the job, my team has seen vast improvements in impressions and click-thru rates. However, the conversion rate statistic is a little harder to rev up. There are slow, incremental improvements, but on the whole we have not cracked the code to securing significant developments on this metric. Basically, we are collecting more and more interested parties, and some of them have latched on, but the majority have turned us down.

Because I am always thinking about parallels between what I do at work and my personal life, I couldn't help but notice how some of our marketing strategies mirror the complications, trials, and victories in the game of dating. In my opinion, I believe finding that inevitable other doesn't always come down to happenstance or fate. Rather, I think there are some business premises that enhance one's chance of making that ultimate conversion from interested party to purchaser.

This past weekend I traveled to my hometown of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, to attend a bridal shower and bachelorette party. This was a set of events hosted and attended by my closest high school friends, who are perhaps the best looking group of girls on the planet. Every time we get together, it is like walking onto the set of Sex and the City season 2. They are dressed in the latest looks from Alice and Olivia, TIBI, Theory, Rebecca Taylor, and Dionne Von Furstenberg, with high-end accessories from the likes of Ferragamo, Prada, Gucci, and Louis Vuitton. Everyone’s hair and make-up is understated, yet perfect. They are all naturally slim, out-going, well-spoken and supremely confident.

I had to think diligently about which party dress to pull from my costume closet as I packed last Friday, so I would be prepared to enter a Saturday luncheon where I was explicitly told “not to wear jeans!” (I must say I made a very good choice, due to the large number of compliments.) I accentuated the chic dress and the tone of the afternoon with the accessorizing labels of Tory Burch, Cole-Hahn, Movado, and Chanel.

In a room filled with with friends and family members that had already pledged their allegiances to each of us, there wasn’t much selling to do. However, in the evening, when seven girls set out on the town for the bachelorette party, there was a need for differentiation and tasteful promotion to set each of us apart from the next. But how does this happen? How do seven girls with incredible genes, equal access to fantastic wardrobes, and the impeccable ability to blow-dry, apply, and style attract the coveted customer; the one that will last a lifetime?

After studying and practicing marketing and communications principles in school and on the job, I have learned that there are four basic things that any brand can manipulate and massage to make their goods and services more appealing to the consumer. One of those things is promotion. Promotion is all about attracting a buyer and increasing sales through various strategies. In the marketing world these are things like coupons, PR activities, competitions, displays, advertising campaigns, and loyalty incentive programs. For the individual, promotional activities include knowing what's best about you and finding ways to get the message out. Self-promotion is about telling your story visually, verbally, and emotively in a different way from your competitors. For the single girl looking to stand out among a bevy of beauties, there are key learnings from a successful campaign's promotional activities, that can enhance how she steps out on the town.

First, play up your most unique and amazing asset, and do it in an original way. Though women are made up of the same basic parts, there are some parts that look best on you, and other parts that look better on someone else. In MBA school, we talked a lot about "sustainable competitive advantage." Every successful company has achieved excellence through a lasting differentiating factor that they then promote to their consumers. It's the company with a focus and an investment in that focus that makes an impression. It's the company that tries to be everything to everyone that fails. Instead of following the trending topic, wearing a common look, over applying or enhancing; Try picking one part of yourself that you are proud of - make a splash with it, and then dim the less interesting parts. Along with this, try playing up your chosen asset in a unique way. For instance, if you've got a great neckline and shoulders, own the off the shoulder look. Make this a standard look that people will always associate with you. YOU are the girl with the elegant shoulders and neckline. This comment may be more or less latent to a guy, but your consistent, confident look comes with a certain feeling and memory attached to it.

Second, find and know your brand essence. As I mentioned, on the outside, we are basically equipped with a set of parts that make us blend together. Though we may have great red hair that makes us stand out in a sea of blonds, there is something else that guys can pick up on a mile away. That is our confidence, which is made up of our internal values, talents, character, and pride in all of these. This is our brand essence and it should be brought to the forefront on all occasions. If you don't know or can't find an underlying, personal essence to your outward appearance, you will just blend in among the competition. Stand up straight, SMILE, laugh heartily, be genuine, gesticulate, and love the moment you are experiencing. Everyone wants to be part of the good time - that good time should be you.

Just like a fast food hamburger restaurant, we all have the same tools to make us the better burger joint. The restaurant can dress up the burger with lettuce, pickles, onions and special sauce, but if it doesn’t associate that amazing look and taste with something bigger and more emotive, than the consumer is not going to become attached to that product. As women, we have the same access at all price-points to make-up, clothes (and generally speaking guys can’t tell the difference between the cheap and expensive stuff), diets, and hair-care techniques. We all have the ability to look great, but if your potential consumer can't see something more than a cliche, he will lose interest.

Third and finally, you can't just shout your message to a captive audience. Today, a guy's attention span is shorter than ever, and in order to captivate, you have to engage in a dialogue - to be a good promoter, you have to be a good listener. You have to know what the consumer wants, then hone your messaging to his cues. The reason that marketers have gone on-line and have started to speak to consumers on their agenda, and in their time and space, is because shouting through a box to uninterested viewers no longer works. People want to know that companies care about their individuality. They want brands to interact with them and communicate directly to them. When you enter a bar, a party, or even the grocery store, there is always an opportunity to tell your story and promote yourself, but most times it helps to know your target audience's story first.

There are so many other aspects of promotion to touch on, but these are biggies. And, there's more where this came from. In the meantime, this is a start to help you improve your conversion rate. The key take-away: Focus on strategic self-promotion when you play the dating game - strive for quality impressions, achieve higher click-thru rates, and aim for the conversion of a browser into a purchaser.

Lo

Dressed and Ready

When I was playing lacrosse at Notre Dame my coach, Tracy, told the team to be "dressed and ready to go" about three hours before the opening draw of the game. Dressed and ready meant uniform on, pump-up music off, eyes on and ears open to our all-wise and powerful head coach. "Dressed and ready" took me and my teammates out of our roles as students and into our realm as star athletes, where our following of loyal fans, which was entirely comprised of family relations, really good friends, and an odd assortment of townies and professors who adopted a cult following of women's lacrosse, would cheer us on by name and number.

My transition from student to athlete started as I stripped out of my typical art-historian wardrobe of J.Crew high waisted jeans, white t-shirt, cardigan sweater, Ann Klein loafers, and Vera Bradley tote. (Yes, I have always dressed like a 45-year-old mother-of-four.) In the locker room, and set to the rhythms and lyrics of my team's favorite rappers, I started to shed my somewhat dorky, snooty, and perceived mature persona into a rendering of a tough, brusque, and hot lacrosse player. As I misquoted Big Poppa, I would pull on my under-layer of spandex and sports-bras; and as I awkwardly bobbed to Snoop Dogg, I delved into my the outer-layer made up of my #7 jersey, gold kilt, cleats, and a sweat band that I strategically positioned under my bicep to make my arms look more defined. My long strait hair was swept into a ponytail that I would clasp again at the bottom so it would swing together as I ran down the field. Next, I would go to the mirror to complete my look - adding the finishing touch - I crowned myself with a striped head band, given to me by my brother with the explicit directions to be more gangster. Now I was officially "dressed and ready to go."

My art history, literature, Italian, and acting teachers never would have suspected that #7 was the same girl that raised her hand enthusiastically in the front row of their classes. My lacrosse garb enabled me to be something that I never thought imaginable - the first home and one of the leading scorers for the number-two team in division 1 varsity lacrosse.

Today I woke up and got dressed and ready for work. This is a much less interesting process, but one that I take with the same amount of seriousness that I applied to my lacrosse game preparations. It starts by shedding layers of Under Armour and revitalizing my raw body in the tepid water of my shower. I then lather up in lotion to reduce my over-active static electricity problem, apply make-up in a methodical way, and then open my closet to assemble an outfit for work. Everyday it is basically the same (I actually wonder if my co-workers think that I don't wash my clothes.) I choose a set from a collection of strategically purchased and well-tailored black and gray pants, camisoles, sweaters, and boots.

If you've ever seen one of those movies where the main character opens up his or her closet and everything looks exactly the same, that is me. I have invested in buying not just one of two of what I like, but a whole closet of clothes that I love and inherently look exactly the same. It is because I feel comfortable and confident in the work-day uniform that I have pulled together. I feel that this ensemble perfectly promotes my persona at work - It says sound, smart, sophisticated, savvy, success-driven, with an undertone of sass.

As a side note, my weekend look comes from my other closet - my fun closet. It is where my boxes of expensive shoes, gold-lame gloves, fedora hats, scarves, small and large handbags, and a myriad of flouncy, colorful dresses live. This is my costume closet, where I play and promote the creative side of myself on the weekends.

After I blow dry my hair, I glance in the mirror one last time, apply another round of lip-gloss, smack my lips together, and say, alright dominant QSR, here I come! I finish my work-mode prep by tuning into the liberal banter of NPR morning news during my commute. This is my new version of pump-up music for the corporate games I am about to play. It prepares me to combat politics, contribute to technological conversations, and quote stock market predictions with ease.

My rituals of preparation to compete on the lacrosse field and those to compete in corporate America are quite different, but the underlying concept is still there. If I would have come out to play unfocused, tired, or scared, me and my team would have had to play a lot of catch up in the second half, which always made Tracy mad. In corporate America, my pursuits are much the same; to outsmart, outplay, out-hustle, and ultimately knock off the competition with a group of contributors fighting for the same cause. I have to be ready to go the moment I walk off the elevator each day, because if I'm not, I might end up back on the bench.

The point here:

Get pumped-up and psyched for what you are about to do today. If you are not dressed and ready to go, you might be making up some tough ground later in the day, or later in life.

Sustain that feeling throughout the day, even when it comes down to the homestretch - those last five minutes could be the game breaker.

When you have victories along the way, celebrate them with your teammates. (Cristine, watch out! I might even give you a shimmy shake, which is the lacrosse version of a chest bump, when we nail our next benchmark.)

When you've won ten games in a row, don't let up. You still have the rest of your season ahead when some young unassuming team can catch you off guard.

And I'm not thinking about the end of the game right now - I just made it off the bench, earned a starting position, and am taking steps to be a key contributor.


Lo.

Slower is Smarter

This morning I saw a great, and ever so appropriate (at least for this entry) bumper sticker. It said, "Drive Smarter. Drive Slower." For a runner that nearly gets run over every morning, I was very appreciative of this mobile marketing campaign.

Every morning I run the same big square around Naperville rain or shine, deep freeze or sweltering heat, and tempt fate as I come to various intersections. The frustrated commuters have one thing on their mind - get to work and as fast as possible. They pay no attention to the morning light, the soft snow falling, the sweet aroma of bacon from the restaurants downtown serving breakfast, and most of all to the pedestrians. As I dash across intersections a predictable drama unfolds: I take a couple steps, the driver only looking to the left tries to make a right hand turn on red, he or she nearly runs me off the road, and I shake my head at the commuter's grand apology (arms wave, brow raises, face stresses, lips silently mouth "I'm SORRY!")

This is not a scenario unique to the morning in Naperville. All over America, at all hours of the day, we move at a hurried pace from one activity to the next. I wonder if we even enjoy the things we are doing in the moment because we are always worried how and how fast we will get to the next activity.

I read a novel recently which talked a lot about the culture and tempo of Eastern Europe. The author described it as having a much slower pace than America. He said, "Everyone in American is hurrying so they can make money, but when there is no money to be made, we slow down." Is this true? Is this why everyone in America can't slow down - - because there is money out there, dangling from a string, that we will run in circles to capture?

We hypothesize a lot in our culture about winning the lottery. If we win millions and strike it rich, then we can take it easy. At this hypothetical, ultimate and perfect point in our lives, then we can relax and enjoy life. For some, a culmination of the frenzied pace may come in the form of an unprecedented corporate bonus, for others it may come at retirement. However, until you reach your rest cycle, I urge you to find one or two activities in your life, where you strive to take things a little slower. Give attention to and appreciate each beat in your life's rhythm.

Though I don't hold myself as an ideal or a shining example of someone who has overcome the rush, I believe I have made some big strides in the way I approach two aspects of my daily routine. After work, I go from a sprint, to a walking pace - for music lovers, an adagio, and I have witnessed the quality within these parts of my day progress from amateur to more refined.

First, Cooking

I have written about it before, but cooking is one of my passions. It is a hobby that I research, practice, and converse about on a daily basis. In one of my marketing classes last year, we traced the image and branding of the Betty Crocker Cookbook from her roots as a homemaker with a heritage and portfolio of lovingly prepared meals, to a working woman who needed to be equipped with meal solutions which could be prepared quickly and efficiently. Though I celebrate and perhaps embody the working woman who wants to do it all, I also abhor the 30 minute meal.

I cooked from my new Lidia Bastianich cookbook on Saturday evening. I had just watched a show about the local ingredients, flavors and preparation techniques from the Basilicata region of Italy, and decided to try one of Lidia's recipes from that region: A traditional Primi, a baked cherry tomato pasta dish that would go well with my boyfriend's Secondi preferiti, "un Bistecca."

I was dicing garlic, sweet onions, and cherry tomatoes when my boyfriend asked if I wanted to use a food processor. I immediately scoffed at the suggestion. The local women of Italy do not cook with processors. They pit each olive by hand, half each tomato without damaging its sun-kissed skin, and slowly simmer ingredients until each flavor blends together into a mutually beneficial marriage. I love to chop, cook, and savor aromas, because it is the part of my day where I get to slow down. I get to pour a glass of wine and work through each step at my own speed. There is no deadline, except perhaps a stomach growl, but that can easily be mending by said glass of wine and a ripe creamy piece of St. Andre cheese.

If you don't have kids or a husband asking when dinner will be ready, cook slowly. It is an amazing activity, that you should enjoy through and through.

Second, Consuming

When I was in grade school, Thursday nights were rough. After school I went directly to field hockey, basketball or play practice, then to piano, then home to a heaping portion of Linguini with Clam Sauce that I proceeded to inhale, then to a double session of dance class. Though I had become accustomed to scarfing down food for fuel, I used to have to take a break about ten minutes into class some nights, because my babysitter, Debbie's, monstrous portion of pasta, had gotten the better of me.

When younger, there was steep competition between the winner of the who-can-complete-a-meal-faster race. For a good part of my youth, I believe I held the title, but my brother became a master in his high school years, because he knew that the longer he stayed at the table eating, the more questions he would have to field from my mom and dad. While honing my skills of rapid consumption came in handy at various points of my life (Thursdays nights like the ones I described, halftime of lacrosse games when I would scarf down Cheerios to propel my efforts in the second half, and a very un-lady-like Freshman year of college when I was a champion shot gunner) the side effects of indigestion and weight gain were reason enough to change my habits.

Recommendations to take it easy while consuming came a lot in my later years. My parents would say slow down, Katy would say, "Wow, stop drinking so hard," Kristen would look up in amazement as I polished off my salad and she took her first bite. However, I would say I took a major leap in slowing down the pace of consumption this year. The trick for me (and it may not be for everyone, as I am not condoning alcoholism) is to have one glass of wine before dinner and one during dinner. It acts as a catalyst to transition from the frenzy of the workday, into a time set aside for relaxation. It also acts as a prelude and finale to each bite, enhancing each flavor, and it opens taste buds to the complexities and melodies that come from the symphony of flavors.

Though I am still proud of the day I polished off a Tessaro's hamburger in three bites so I could make it to the 7:15 PM show, I am glad to leave scarfing behind.

So ... this evening, as you put another day to rest, think of a way or two that you can slow down your rapid routines. Or at least, if anyone from the city of Naperville is reading, please drive smarter and slower tomorrow morning, and watch out for the friendly runner in the yellow Steelers hat.

Lo

A New Year, A New Me?

It is officially 2010. Although I rang in the New Year with my family in Puerto Rico and toasted the New Year on Sunday night with Peter, bay scallops, and a wonderful bottle of Marchesa Prosecco, it was the return to my routine yesterday that marked the New Year for me.

My team at work engaged in some thorough "twenty-ten planning" over the past couple of months to gear up for the start of the New Year. I felt poised, ready and raring to go on the job front yesterday. With all this work related planning though, I forgot to do any personal 2010 planning. I used my routine run yesterday to brainstorm on how I could put some of the great pieces of advice I received over the past couple of days to use in 2010.

NPR, the visiting priest at St. Peter's and Paul of Naperville, my family and boyfriend, and my friend Meredith each offered some words of wisdom to me over the past 4 days, which will shape how I want to approach this new year. I have provided the long and short versions below, because sometimes my readers just want to get straight to the point ; )

1. As I mentioned before, my family and I were in Puerto Rico during the change from 2009 to 2010. During a great and relaxing week, there were many opportunities for competitive sport. Whether it was on the volleyball court or running trail, during a silly paddle ball game or hearts game, in the pool, kitchen, or at the dining room table. There were many opportunities where one could claim (if one won) that he or she was the champion of the world. I had to tell myself over and over again:

"I don't need to have the most knowledge on a subject"

"It doesn't matter if I lose a card game"

"There are other people that can cook very well in my family"

"It's okay if I didn't complete the longest list of activities for the day."

When I lost, which seemed to happen a lot on this particular vacation, my ego was bruised and I wanted to take it out on my competitor. (I am still working on the whole concept of friendly competition - for me it has always been more like I-hate-you-if-you-beat-me competition.) With nudging and coaching here and there from my boyfriend, my inner competitive demon starting to fade through the week though. Basically, he has taught me that there's no need to be #1 in a family, because ultimately your family doesn't love you for winning, they love you for playing. I believe in 2010, I will make major strides in putting Competo to rest.

Less fierce competition, more friendly play.

2. I talked to my friend Meredith last night who had some great advice. She told me in so many words that I should enjoy every moment and not worry about the next. She said sometimes when you start looking at your peers, you feel the pressure to be like them, have the same things as them, look like them. However, each of us have unique situations and what's right for one person is probably all wrong for the other person. So don't make life a competition - there is no starting point and finish line. You will win regardless if you are happy through each stage. Such great advice.

Life is not a competition.

3. NPR provided my third bit of advice. They showcased a story about a man with a debilitating disease called spinal muscular atrophy yesterday on their morning show. Most with his disease don't live past the age of 4, but he has thrived. He turned 47 this year, has his own family, and is a successful writer in LA who is working on a memoir. He spoke yesterday about how, at the start of this new year, he isn't so much looking ahead, but looking back on 2009 which sincere thankfulness. He said although nothing really exciting happened in 2009, it was a year that was "blessedly drama free," which in his life means a lot. No medical complications, hospital visits, or extremely stressful situations. He ended his remarks by saying sometimes being normal is good enough. I was struck by this comment immediately, and couldn't agree with it more.

Being normal is great.

4. Finally, in mass on Sunday, a visiting priest talked about the celebration of Epiphany in a great way. He spoke about those that wander in the desert, and how they do so at night, because they can navigate better guided by astronomy. The Three Kings were guided by a particularly bright star that led them to the baby Jesus. The priest said that in this day and age, we are called to be lights for others. We are meant to be beacons for people who have lost their way or need some direction. Although, the application from mass is to guide people to the Church, I want to take this into the secular realm as well. I want to very happy and satisfied in 2010 no matter what, because I have been very blessed, and help show others how to be happy as well.

Happiness is the beacon I want to shed.

So in 2010 I am not looking to catapult my personage into the next level of excellence. I am trying to just be happy old me. The me that I know, my family and boyfriend knows, and my lifelong friends know. I have nagging strains that want to be bigger and better than everyone else at everything that I do, but my goal this new year, is to be satisfied with what I have been given, become comfortable and thankful for being normal, and let my satisfaction and smile be a beacon for those that are less happy.

Happy New Year,

Lo

Reaching For The Stars

When marketing a product, company, or in my case a non-profit organization, there comes a time when you might want to leverage the power of a celebrity. Whether its through strategic and prime product placement in a film (such that any viewer will want to run to the nearest store to purchase whatever it was that Robert Pattinson was drinking instead of human blood in the latest Twilight movie); or scouting out that perfect celebrity spokesperson whose appeal spans the general and ethnic consumer markets, who actually loves your brand, and is 100% willing to develop an ad campaign with you without compensation; star power can move the masses.
[Sigh]
If it was only as easy as writing this paragraph. Celebrities are a rare breed and getting them to work and speak well on behalf of your product or company can be a daunting task.

I just spent three days in Los Angeles for work. I was there for an event that involved many moving pieces and targets, but whether it was the preparation before, the managing during, or the celebrating after, each step involved shielding my eyes from the blinding aura of the twinkling stars of Hollywood.

On Thursday night we went to dinner at a steakhouse called The Palm. The pre-event networking dinner involved multiple agencies and some of the Mommy bloggers who would be writing about the Charity the next day. The restaurant was located next door to Laker stadium, which was hosting one of the first games of the season. As I sat there, shifting and balancing conversations between diapers, access to healthcare and Big Macs, I kept sneaking glances of the big screen TV next to me, which pinpointed the bevy of celebrities present at the game. Heather Locklear, Zack Efron, and Jack Nicholson were all in attendance, all right next door. Oh, the potential excitement of actually running into the ranks of the glitteratti.

The next day the excitement increased when I actually came in contact with a set of minor celebrities. The following day, my work event involved three celebrities: Billy Bush, Dayanara Torres, and the one and only Ronald McDonald. Mustering up and managing these three people took several PR agencies, nannies, scripts, and security, all of which ultimately ended in minor chaos. My claim to fame that day, I got to help watch Billy Bush's children.

That night as the sun set over the Hollywood Hills, I woke up from a power nap and attended a "networking meeting" between the people I traveled with and a local event management company at the Chateau Marmont in West Hollywood. I kind of rolled my eyes when I passed through the man with a clipboard, the garage full of the most expensive cars I had ever seen, and the lobby filled with strung out, super skinny, model-type figures. But when we went outside to the courtyard, the atmosphere became more relaxed and normal. That is, until I removed my focus from ordering a glass of wine and consuming it quickly, to looking around. To my right was John Legend and Nicky Hilton, in front of me Amy Pohler, Megan Mullaley, Rashida Jones, and other SNL cast members, catty-corner to them some Gossip Girls, and then to my left (my ultimate celebrity siting), Lindsey Lohan getting cozy next to Jason Segal (big tall comedian from Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Man's Best Friend, and Knocked Up.)

Everyone around me remained pretty cool, casual and focused on their beverages. I, on the other hand, was star STRUCK. I think I actually wiped away a tear when I did a double take of Lindsey Lohan. What the heck?! Why was I so inspired, awe-struck, in-heaven?! This was ridiculous and actually with the exception of John Legend, I really wasn't that big of a fan of these people's work on or off the screen. I also don't think ANY of them would have made stellar celebrity spokespeople, especially for a Charity. However, as Lindsey walked by in her shimmery spandex revealing her stick thin legs, mile high booties, skull cap hiding her stringy blond hair, and leather jacket I suddenly felt like I had to have every piece of the ensemble.

When I got home I couldn't wait to tell my boyfriend about my amazing evening. As I rattled off the names, reliving the sheer bliss of seeing the celebrities at play, I realized that I was going to be greeted with the response, "I have no idea who any of those people are."
Yep.
Fact.
That is the person that I love.
He got a bigger kick out of my tweeny-bopper excitement than out of the celeb sitings. Alas, I had became a name-dropper, hoping to achieve some sort of recognition from being associated with the A-listers.

This sense of celebrity and name dropping can infect the work place just as much as it has my dreams the past couple of nights. Business can largely be a game of who's who and who you know. We also currently place an equal amount of celebrity status on corporate officers as we do on personalities like Tom Cruise, Julia Roberts, and Branjenlina. (A for instance: when a certain CEO said "hello ladies" in my general direction during a recent gala, I almost swooned.) In business school, I was literally encouraged to pencil off every Friday as time for building key business relationships.

We live in a culture that will always be fascinated by the rich, famous, talented and troublesome; where success is aligned with celebrity status, and where we are encouraged to network to move into the upper echelons of society. We also praise those who have relationships with a celebrity, an officer, a politician, or an inside informant from the competition, as our unique gateway into an exclusive world. So, how as confident professionals who want to avoid the syrupy suck-up to the stars game, do we make our presence known in business decisions? Do we hope that someone will miraculously take notice of our talent? Probably not, because most likely you'll be waiting forever and be stuck in the rut of B playerdom for the rest of your corporate career.

Not all of us are bound for celebrity status in this world, and that's okay, because the B players are equally important in the fabric of corporate America as the A players. However, for those who have identified a differentiating quality in the way you work or what you produce, I encourage you to self-promote, rather than to rely on the associative properties of the stars. Individuals and products that work their way up without a celebrity spokesperson or corporate escort have a greater chance of making a lasting impact. Celebrities come in and out of favor; We applaud and boo them, dig into their scandalous behavior, and listen attentively only until their messages become irrelevant. When one comes into the limelight, another one's fifteen minutes of fame dwindles. (Trust me, you don't want to be on that ship when it is quietly forced out of the company.) Networking in business should be about education - we should learn from a leader's successes and failures, and take heed when navigating our own career trajectory.

On Friday evening, Jason Segal whispered to Megan Mullaley, "Don't judge me because I'm with Lindsey." (I overheard because they were standing right behind me.) This mistake in Segal's networking, especially when while running in such high-profile circles, could be devastating. And the last thing he or anyone wants is to fall out of favor with the funny people - because there will always be a place within the in-crowd for them. http://www.people.com/people/videos/whatyoumissedovertheweekend/


Lo

Mother May I

The other night over a very interesting dinner with 3 bloggers and 5 communications professionals, we started talking about regulations within our respective industries. The FTC recently published a new, half thought-through set of regulations for pushing products through social media channels. For instance, if you are tweeting, posting, and writing about a product on your site, you have to disclose whether or not a company compensated you to write about your experience with their good. The bloggers have a direct relationship with these new rules and were explaining the complexities.

I thought to myself while the conversation progressed, here lies yet another addition to the list of rules that we are asked to play by. Everyday the papers are littered with stories about bills, proposals, and requests for more regulation. From the banking system and the private insurance companies, to immigration and education, the FDA, EPA, ABA, PTA, NCAA ... all want tighter rules, heavier sanctions, and more control.

I have always played by the rules and am honestly afraid to go against them. When authority figures tell me to do something, I do it, and for the most part, no questions asked. I grew up in a household (the daughter of a lawyer mind you) where there were codes of conduct and certain sanctions for not abiding by the house rules. There was room for interpretation amongst my siblings and I; and there became various strains of tolerance from the parental unit for deviating from the rules; but on the whole, my siblings and I grew up following by the system. From my perspective here are seven rules that I thought to be unbreakable in the Fischer household:

Rule #1: Everyone pitches in around the house
Rule #2: Everyone is nice to each other
Rule #3: Everyone is clear about where they are going, who they are going with, and when they will return
Rule #4: Everyone goes to church together
Rule #5: Everyone partakes in the family activity and doesn't fuss about it
Rule #6: Whatever the parent says, goes
Rule #7: If mom or dad had a stressful day at work, take heed of bad mood and suck up as much as possible

I held these guidelines as the law and was petrified of repurcussions had I not followed them. I always did whatever chore I needed to do without complaint. I told my parents exactly where I was going and with whom ( I even had a self-imposed curfew so my parents wouldn't be able to find any fault in my weekend activities.) If my parents wanted to attend 8 AM mass on Sunday, I was there by their side. I lauded whatever family outing we chose, jovially sauntering through flower shows, art museums, folk festivals, and grocery stores as my siblings scoffed at my syrupy enthusiasm.

My siblings had a different take on the rules though. My elder sister had her own opinion and wasn't afraid to share it. She took many long bathroom breaks after dinner aleviating her from dish duty. Despite getting in trouble for it, she continued to go on Eat N' Park outings with Midnight Mary Anne in our Transport van. My brother threw out some of these rules in high school when his sense of reasoning developed. He used to tell my parents he would no longer field their intrusive questions, that he was leaving to go out with an undisclosed group of friends, and that he would go to mass later alone. From my perspective such risky behaviors were unthought of. Looking back on it, what possessed me to be so law abiding and for lack of a better word, such a dork?!

I don't know why I am so into following the rules. It wasn't just my parents rules either. I used to become extremely nervous (and actually start crying) as the "We will be closing in 30 ... 10 ... 5 minutes" announcement echoed through the Home Goods section of Kaufmanns while late night shopping with my mother. I was afraid that we would break the rules, get locked in the store, and then my life would be over. Again, looking back on it, how exciting would it have been to get locked in a department store at night?! The ultimate slumber party with my Mom and sister would have unfolded complete with giant beds dressed with perfect bedspreads, new PJs and robes, makeovers, televiewing on giant screens, and eating our way through displays of rich Godiva chocolate.

Today we face debate after debate in our country about stricter rules and heavier sanctions. And though it may be a stretch, I want to compare the different perspectives of rules in the smaller governed body of my family to a larger governed body like America.

Though I have always been creative and have a unique personality, I get anxious when asked to break a rule. I can think outside the box, but I am often afraid to work and play outside the box. My siblings on the other hand were never afraid to test boundaries with authority figures. Their reasoning and confidence led them to believe that, perhaps, at times, the way the authority wants us to do things isn't the best way. Perhaps there is another way, a better way. My parents managed both sides very well - gathering new sets of information from my elder sister who was actually reading books during those "bathroom breaks", getting chores done around the house through me, and getting endless amounts of laughter from my brother whose comedic routines took the place of sweeping the floor.

We live in a country where these two camps (rule abiders and breakers) exist, and I ask you this - - if the rule breakers weren't there, would we have the level of technological, financial, artistic, and athletic successes that we do today? If we impose more regulation, will individuals and groups still push, innovate, and progress? It is the rule breakers that advance the system, but the rule abiders that keep the current system productive and running smoothly. You need both and you need to manage both. However, the more we try to impose strict regulations on the entirety of the population, the less our society will grow. My parents were able to manage both camps. Some companies also manage the rule breakers and abiders very successfully. However, I think the nation's government is getting to the point, that might prove stifling to our collective progress. I ask though, how do you manage effectively on that grand of a scale?

My thoughts are exhausted at this point, but I would appreciate your comments and perspectives. Post away! For now, court adjourned!

Lo

Cooking for One

Today I am in Los Angeles. I am here for work, and will be here for the next couple of days to celebrate McHappy Day with good friends of Ronald McDonald House Charities like Billy Bush, Dayanara Torres, a host of mommy bloggers from Southern California, and representation from McDonald's. Some good posting ideas will definitely emerge.

However, in the mean time I wanted to write about the movie that I saw last night en route to LA. I was planning to curl up in the steerage section of the United plane with my latest volume of Penny Vincenzi's London-based novels. However, I called an audible and put on the germ-infested ear phones to watch the Westbound feature film, Julie and Julia. (Which I had been meaning to watch for awhile.) I had heard good things - that it was adorable, that the viewer would want to go back home and cook up a storm afterward, that Meryl Streep delivered an amazing performance yet again. You can blame it on my fatigue, my irritability due to the elbow bumping neighbor of mine, or the slightly muffled sound, but I found the movie only half good. That is, the half with Julia Childs was great, the half with Julie (I forget her last name), not so much.

The sections of the movie focused on Julia Childs were sweet, melodic and inspirational. (Although that voice became rather annoying.) Julia was a true original. She wanted to enable and equip the servantless housewives of America with excellent French recipes. She wanted to free them of the marshmellow fluff and jello molds, and give them the gift of butter based emulsions, aspics, and canard!! I absolutely appreciate her decades of hard work, perseverence and professionalism. She gave a unique gift and provided profound inspiration to generations of cooks and chefs.

It was the millenial version of her that really botherd me. Women of the 21st century have reverted back to meal solutions. They are too busy to follow the detailed procedures found in Mastering French Cooking and instead want five ingredients or less, 30 minute meals, and semi-homemade. Blah. The character of Julie is supposed to represent the alternative of this modern cook. She seeks out fresh and exotic ingredients, finds comfort in her cookware, and isn't afraid to increase the butter content. She is experiencing life in a different, more innovative way, than her self-absorbed success driven faux friends, and the viewer is asked to hold her up as an ideal. I had a hard time with that request. I saw her as whiny, uncreative and ultimately just as selfish as the friends she hated. Her lack luster quality lies in the fact that it was her husband's idea of writing and cooking, that they were Julia's recipes, not her own, and that she spent a measly year working on this project, whereas Julia spent a lifetime. I would top that all off with her bizaare idolistic relationship with her imaginary version of Julia Childs.

I have written about my love of food and cooking in the past, so this film seemed like a natural fit. Or, the cooking and blogging character of Julie, might at first glance seem to be someone I would admire. However, the purpose behind her pursuits and mine are quite different. To me, cooking is a gift that I want to share with others. Thinking of and preparing a meal is all about who it is for in the end. That is the way Julia Child approached a recipe, and not the way Julie did. At the end Julie is sad because she finds out that Julia Child is on record saying "I hate her." Julia, I don't blame you. As the daughter of a tireless female leader, who could do it all and still make a mean red sauce for her ravenous children at the end of the day, it takes a lot more to impress me as well.

This weekend, I encourage you to try a new recipe, slave away all day in the kitchen, but do it as a gift for your friends and family. It makes the meal that much sweeter!

Lo

Staying Sane

In a post recessionary economy that experts in the industry claim is on the rebound, it is easy to chart when, where and possible point figures at how we went into a slump. Economists can look at graphs and chart when the bubbles burst, the GDP stopped growing, consumer confidence started to shift toward panic, and we all started stressing out about the 2nd great depression and how it was going to affect the lifestyles we have come to know and love.

In one's life, though, it is harder to chart the expansions and recessions. Looking back at my mid 20s (which are just about coming to an end) I think I can pinpoint a secular bear market or what I more fondly like to call my quarter-life crisis. It was definitely a point of contraction in my growth cycle - - a point where I reassessed priorities and mind set and when my capital to asset ratio shifted drastically toward the latter (which today would shut down any bank.) It was above all a time when stress reigned supreme in my life as I debated what non-risky investment I should make next. Looking back, I can definitely say that I had entered a slump, which included me, a couch, re-runs of Sex and the City, and way too many bowls of cereal. I remember talks with my mother who always had suggestions on how to cope and how to get get back into the market. She named such solutions as always finding something to look forward to, like vacations (this had always worked for such influential figures as Aunt Dee Dee), reading a lot, making a list of goals, becoming the independent entrepreneur of the week (foraying into the lucrative markets of greeting card illustrator and creative caterer), and of course saying some prayers.

In the Wall Street Journal alone today, there were 4 articles focused on solutions to stress and insanity given the recessionary aftermath. The articles depicted our nation as one composed of a bunch of mental cases on the verge of break down, self destruction and panic. Mentions of remedies such as reading, prayer, and regular exercise would have made my mother proud. However, the general consensus is that these methods aren't working, people either don't have time, don't want to give an alternate lifestyle a try, or they just want the magic cure-all like the one found for pets in the form of pheromone therapy. The nation marches on in the elaborate search for (and composes many opinion pieces on) a solution for a return to normalcy.

My favorite article this morning was one about a woman who was laid off about 6 months ago and was quickly burning through her severance and savings to maintain a lifestyle that she felt kept her sane. She stated that if she didn't go to Starbucks everyday, have expensive networking luncheons, and drink flirty cocktails in the evening with girlfriends, she would go crazy. I mean really?! The amazing thing is though, during my crisis years, I used to do the same sort of thing while working the night shift in the restaurant. I used to wake up at 6:30 AM (after closing the restaurant at 3:00 AM) and rush to the coffee shop so I could be part of the morning ritual like all the normal people. Even though I wasn't burning through cash in the process, my goal was to be part of the system again, part of the regularity.

I ask myself this though, why? Why do I, why do most of us just want to fit in and have a comforting sense of routine. As part of the get up and go machine of corporate America, I should be looking back on those moments of irregularity in my life with fondness, but I'm not. I wonder though if these moments, when we cease to grow the way we always have, walk the same straight line, have the same sense of confidence, are really moments of opportunity. I raised my hand proudly in my innovation class last year and made the suggestion that perhaps the great recession was actually a good thing - - that there could be some tremendous societal, economic, or technological innovation that derived from it. My comment was scoffed at by the conservative set, but my ever encouraging professor said that perhaps I was dead on.

Instead of seeking out ways to stay sane, stay normal, stay afloat ... leverage that bit of craziness and confusion to catapult your career, your attitude, your personage to a new height. Maybe in order to expand sometimes, we have to take a step back. Maybe there is a need to experience crisis in order to prune ourselves and reassess our strategy for the next growth phase. Let's make my professor proud, and innovate in our time of crisis, even if that innovation is the cure-all for our overwhelming stress levels.

Lo

A Fresh Start!

The latest addition to my job description is blogger outreach. I am working alongside the PR and Marketing manager to research and engage mommy bloggers with the goal of enlisting them as Ronald McDonald House Charities ambassadors. Combined with my regular allotment of time for social networking in the form of tweeting, facebooking, and flickring, I have spent the majority of my work days over the past week becoming more familiar with the tone of our target market online. (Social media is a fascinating landscape, and in my opinion, one that every company needs to play in strategically.)

With this inundation of social media came a new appreciation for the blog that I created last March, and a renewed dedication to contributing on this site. So herein lies my commitment (by the way, I used to do this through high school when I ceased writing in my pen and paper journal that resided in my nightstand) to post on this site regularly. In my relatively new position in corporate America, now part of the System!, I have garnered a fresh perspective of being a young professional and I need a place to form and filter thoughts, and hopefully gain some feedback from readers.

Stay tuned - I'm planning to write again this evening. In the meantime, and throughout the day, feel free to follow me, as the "voice" of RMHC online on Twitter (@RMHC) and Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/rmhcglobal)

Happy Tuesday!

Lo