Bridesmaidzilla

First, in case anyone is waiting with baited breath to hear the result of my salty submersion, I survived. And very much intact. There weren't even any sharks or crocodiles waiting to snap at me. Instead, my team reached in, pulled me back on board, and helped clean off some of the seaweed. Basically, the tumultuous currents were in my head. (Surprised?)

Second ... and ironically enough ... I have screwed up again. Not at work though (phew), but equally as frustrating. This morning I found a piece of mail that I remembered opening say ... mmm ... a month or two ago, but of course failed to take action on. (Don't worry Dad it wasn't a bill.) Instead, this piece of mail was a lovely invitation to my best friend's shower on Saturday. Luckily, I can go. Unluckily, there was a little note attached to it saying, "give us a call if you'd like to help."

So ... I just now made the faux-pas of RSVPing two days before the shower with the too-little-too-late-offer of helping in any way that I could.

This is testament #1,000,001 to the fact that I am, by far, the WORST bridesmaid ever. I have received time and time again a 'you need major improvement' in this universal core competency for a girl, but have failed to take corrective action. Some people are natural bridesmaids. They are selfless, unfazed by wearing unflattering dresses, and love making bouquets out of ribbons. My friend Rebecca for instance is seriously the best bridesmaid around. She is the real life version of Katherine Heigel in 27 Dresses. She loves showers, is proud of her closet full of ugly dresses, has fun at bachelorette parties, applauds every wedding gift, sorts the wrappings into trash and ribbon-bouquet-worthy materials, and then makes that obnoxious ribbon bouquet.

I, on the other hand, didn't even know I was supposed to make a bouquet out of ribbons and Williams Sonoma pineapples at my sister's shower. And when I was told to get on it, I proceeded to roll my eyes at the mundane task. Basically, in weddings past I have repelled each and every quality and attribute that makes up the DNA of a dutiful bridesmaid.


However, this fall I will be a bridesmaid for the 4th and 5th times for two of my best friends, and after my slight faux pas this morning (and the many in the past) I am making a vow right here, right now to be the BEST bridesmaid I can be.

Lo WILL be a Better Bridesmaid by ...

1. Waiting in the Wings: This is difficult. This is very difficult. Call it middle child syndrome, but since the day I was born, all I've done is lobby for attention and the chance to play the leading role. I was the girl jumping in front of video cameras; getting the speaking part in plays because I had a booming voice and knew how to "ham it up;" tapping with a perma-smile and leading my dance-mates through the steps; playing lacrosse like I was on the stage - my uniform a costume, my cradle a choreographed spectacle. To this day I love the spotlight, and I'm pretty bad at waiting in the wings.

But the all wise Boyfriend told me, "being a bridesmaid is kind of like making the assist." As the first-home of my team who had just about the same number of assists as goals, I can relate to this analogy. Basically, as a bridesmaid I am handing off the spotlight to my best friend with the better angle, who in turn can get the perfect shot off. Then, together, after the winning goal is scored, we can both shimmy shake our way back to the locker room. I love the assist - and come October I will be a really good feeder.

This play was called ... "O'Brien, to Ryan, to GOLDBERG!"

2. Making the most of the dress: Again, really, REALLY hard for me. Because it seems that every time I am in a wedding, the dress doesn't fit, and I'm doomed to look horrible for the day and night. Now, with that said, I do admit to testament #400,541 of being a bad bridesmaid - I never get my dress fitted. This leaves me as the one who either needs the halter or has the inappropriate bust line for Church.

So ... I am vowing that this will not happen again. I just went into the bathroom and tried on my October wedding bridesmaid's dress ... and ta da! It actually fit. It didn't fit in February, but somehow my curvature must have slightly adjusted itself to accommodate the navy number. As I looked in the mirror, I thought to myself. This is kind of fun. It's like my costume for the night. And I LOVE costumes! Me and my other girls will rock these costumes and play the roles of the best dressed, best friends. They will also give me access to the photo shoot portion of the day, which was one great time at my sister's wedding!

3. Not sweating the other stuff: I love a good reception. Champagne, dancing, wedding cake, drunk people ... what's not to like? It's the other stuff ... the showers, the 10th showers, the ribbon bouquets I fail to make, the toasts that I slur, the games I don't want to play, and the slideshows that I screw up that render me the incompetent bridesmaid. 

Though, each and every one of these duties can be the bane of my existence, I started to think about how they add up. And I started to compare them to the presents I have made for several weddings. The presents are cartoons of the wedding celebrations as I imagine them. I'm probably giving myself way too much credit, but they are kind of like Bruegels, or my attempts at them. When I set out to make one of my "masterpieces" I create each and every person at the wedding one by one. It's a painstaking process that isn't enjoyable all the time, but in the end, when  they all come together, it makes up a pretty memorable scene. In a way all the little traditions of a wedding and the wedding party, that can seem painstaking, are really the little pieces that make a wedding celebration so wonderful.

And with that ... I have been 1-2-3 coached myself into being a better bridesmaid. AND I can't wait to help make the ribbon bouquet on Saturday! For all those not bouncing from wedding to wedding, essentially the same lessons can apply to your relationships and job: Sometimes the assist is just as gratifying as the goal, costumes make the everyday a little more fun, and it's the small things when added up over time that can make all the difference.

Lo.